Category: Blogging

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Blogging

Blog-a-log

If you’re as old as me and grew up in the UK, you’ll probably remember watching two puppets, who used to say things like “Loblob” (for “lovely”) and “Flobberpop” ( for “flowerpot”). If you want, you can see them here:

I suppose that’s where this post’s title comes from, although it’s only vaguely connected to the topic.

Amos Oz’s grandmother used to say:

If you have no more tears left to weep, then don’t weep. Laugh.

I know that because I’m reading his memoir: A Tale of Love and Darkness.

I’ve shed a few virtual tears here about my childhood and what it did to me. Perhaps it’s time to laugh about it. If I can….

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Blogging Bullying Social anxiety

How should I react?

Sometimes ideas go around from blog to blog. One person blogs about something and others decide to blog about the same thing. I first saw this idea on Rosalind Adam’s  blog. She got the idea from someone else. Probably others got the idea from her. That’s how it works.

This idea has a name. It’s called the Fun and Games Blogfest. You blog about your three favourite games. That’s fun, I thought. I could do that.

Then I thought some more about the games I played as a child. And each game I thought about led to thoughts about bullying. It’s not that I didn’t play games in my childhood. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy playing games in my childhood. But my overwhelming memories now are not about the happy times. They’re about the sad times. They’re about the times I was left out of games, or worse – made to feel worthless when I tried to join in.

So I decided I didn’t really want to blog about games I played. But I was still left wondering how I should react. Should I ignore the whole thing and not mention it, or should I write about my feelings? By writing, doesn’t it spoil things for others? The original idea was just a bit of fun. I don’t need to ruin that with my hangups.

This doesn’t apply only in this particular case. It’s true nearly every time childhood is brought up in conversation. I think that anything I could add to the conversation wouldn’t be appropriate. It would turn a fun conversation into a sad and boring one. So I keep quiet.

But I’ve kept quiet all my life. I’m fed up with keeping quiet. I want to speak out. I want others to know who I am. But I don’t want to spoil their fun.

When I attended my last school reunion, I kept quiet and listened to all the fond memories. Inside, I was crying for the girl who didn’t take part in those fun things they remembered. Afterwards, I decided not to attend the next reunion.

But that’s what I don’t want to do. That’s what social anxiety is about – hiding away so that society doesn’t know who you really are. I don’t want to do that any more.

That’s why I don’t know how to react. Any ideas?

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Blogging Social anxiety

A to Z Challenge: T is for TWITTER

I wrote this comment recently on Catdownunder’s blog when she wrote about the joys of Twitter:

When you suffer from social anxiety, Twitter gives you an opportunity to feel as competent as the people you’re chatting to. Well, almost.

Almost, because I still worry that what I write doesn’t really express what I want to say. Or that what I write could be deemed rude or weird or something else I don’t intend. Or that the person I’m chatting with doesn’t really want to chat with me. So I often take too long to reply.

But yes, I like Twitter, and Facebook, and emails, and blog comments. I like the interaction that I miss or struggle with in the real world.

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Blogging

A to Z Challenge: E is for ENJOYMENT

Nicola Morgan is someone who knows how to ask the right questions. (Gill is another.)

About my two years of blogging, she asked, “Have you enjoyed it?”

I didn’t know how to answer that at first. I know it’s been a positive experience. I know the things I worried about when I began it – criticism, ridicule, disregard – didn’t happen.

But have I enjoyed it? Yes. I’ve enjoyed connecting with people through my blog. Most of all, I’ve enjoyed meeting up with two of those people in real life. One of them, Cathy Walter, I met for the first time. The other, Erika, knew me but didn’t know me – not the real me. I do hope to meet more of my online friends in real life, because I enjoy doing that.

I think we should all be clear about what we enjoy, because:

Enjoyment is what life is for.

That and helping others to enjoy life.

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Blogging

2 2day

Woopee!

2day is this blog’s 2nd birthday and I’m wearing a 2–2 for the occasion.

Sorry there’s no party 2day, but don’t forget to come back for my April showers, starting on April Fool’s Day.

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Blogging Social anxiety

I know, I know

I haven’t blogged much recently. Someone even asked if I was OK.

In case you were wondering, yes I’m OK. Sometimes I’m saddened by things I see online – things I would never have seen in the old days. But generally I’m OK and saving up my blogging energy for April when I plan to blog every day as part of the A to Z Challenge.

In the meantime, I suggest you listen to this BBC play, which goes a long way to showing what social anxiety is like. It’s a difficult topic to tackle, as I’ve found in my writing, and I think this play is quite successful.

Hurry up – it’s available for only three days.

(Thank you, Annette, for drawing my attention to the play.)

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Blogging

April Showers

So during the month of April, I’m going to shower you with posts.

Each day, I’m going to post about a topic that starts with the next letter of the alphabet. Then I’m going to check out the other blogs doing the same thing.

It’s called the A to Z Challenge and I read about it here. Thanks, Karen!

Categories
Blogging

My readers are all…

Women? No.

Writers? No.

British? No.

Nice people? I think so.

There’s only one thing I can say about all my readers. You can all read English. You can probably also write it and speak it. And that makes you very lucky.

This fact was brought home to me on my recent short trip to Prague (which was fascinating).

On two occasions I witnessed the problem of being Japanese. In our hotel, we waited patiently while the hotel staff tried to explain to a Japanese couple that they had nothing to pay because their stay had been paid for. I felt like clapping when the penny finally dropped.

In an art shop, where I waited patiently for my artist husband to choose a painting, I decided to help the conversation along:

Japanese Man: Can I pay yen?
Shopkeeper: Can you pay what?
Me: Yens. He wants to pay in yens.
SK: Japanese money?
JM: Japan money.
SK: Oh, I don’t even know … err….
M: The exchange rate?
SK: I don’t even know exchange rate.
JM: Ah. I pay yen?
SK: No. No yen.
JM: Ah. What pay?
SK: Krone or Euro.
JM: Ah.

Aren’t you glad you know English?

Of course, there’s at least one country where it’s hard to get around knowing just English. It’s called Japan.

Categories
Blogging

Watch this space…

Tuesday is my blog’s first birthday.

Do come back here on Tuesday to help me celebrate it.

You’ll be able to read about something special. Something not connected to SA, or writing….

And there’ll  be a competition! With a prize. Three prizes, in fact.

See you then.

Categories
Blogging Social anxiety

Did I give you the wrong impression?

If I did, please tell me. One of the reasons why I write is that it’s the only way I know of explaining and getting my message across without being misunderstood. So if I’ve written anything misleading, I want to know so that I can correct my error. I think I can do that.

What triggered this question was an email. Being an expert at guessing other people’s thoughts (which is the essence of a good SAer*), I’m wondering if this is what my readers think I’m asserting:

*SAer: someone who suffers from social anxiety.

We SAers belong to this elite of perfect people who always act in the right way, especially when regarding other people’s feelings. If everyone behaved as we do, everything would be fine. Unfortunately, non-SAers are bad people who don’t give a damn about messing with our feelings and have caused us to suffer.

NOOOO! I’ve never said that or thought that or intended anyone to understand that. And I hasten to add that the email writer didn’t say that either. I’m exaggerating slightly… like maybe 2000%.

So this is what I want to make clear: SAers are just human beings like everyone else and come in many different varieties with different opinions, thoughts and feelings. You can see this on SA forums where members argue and get upset and even leave the forum due to the behaviour of other members.

And non-SAers are also nice, nasty and mediocre. In fact, some of my best friends are non-SAers.