Social anxiety


When you’ve experienced everything you’re ever going to experience, it’s time to write: THE END.

…said I, although I’m probably not the first!

I’m back home after an amazing trip to China and Tibet. I’ve posted my photos and videos on Facebook, which must mean I’m well and truly back, and you’re welcome to view them, whether or not you’re a friend of mine there.

Labrang Monastery - sculpture.

Labrang Monastery

Today, I’m thinking about firsts. Yes, even at my age, there are firsts.

The first time I went to China. The first time I went to Tibet. The first time I slept nearly 4,000 metres above sea level. The first time I climbed to almost 5,000 metres. My first plane ride in which the air pressure was increased as we took off. The first video I created for one of my books:

I hope you enjoyed that. And don’t forget, this is the place to buy Cultivating a Fuji.

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I’m taking a break, but Martin isn’t. You can still read about him in Cultivating a Fuji.

Just before I go, here’s the interesting result of the poll I’ve been running on Twitter this past week.

Poll Result

Look at that middle number: 0%.

In other words, of those who answered the poll, not one will have any difficulty imagining what he’s like. Either you’ll see yourself in him or he’ll remind you of someone you’ve met.

Think about it. If you’re one of the 18% and see yourself in Martin, you can compare your experience with his. If you’re one of the 82%, this is your chance to look inside his head and maybe gain an understanding of what’s behind the behaviour that you’ve witnessed.

Cultivating a Fuji - Front Cover

Have a great summer!

My latest novel, Cultivating a Fuji, is 46 days old. How’s it doing in the big, wide world?

Cultivating A Fuji in the world

                                     World image by Arek Socha from Pixabay

 

 

Pretty well, I’d say!

Here are some of the comments that appeared in reviews:

Website Date Quotes
Splashes Into Books 13th May This is a very moving story.

There are many other characters and the author does an amazing job of developing them all.

It is an intriguing and thought-provoking story, a very different read with a dramatic twist at the end that had me rethinking assumptions I’d made when reading the earlier part of the book.

The Bookwormery 15th May ————————–
[I] found it to be a moving description of social anxiety and just how traumatic a simple meeting can be for sufferers….yes there’s humour, but I found this to be a sad, poignant and thought provoking tale.
FNM 15th May ————————–
This is a book that is guaranteed to stay with you long after you read it, it is a book that really makes you think with a few surprises along the way.
Jan’s Book Buzz 15th May ————————–
Drori tells a story that can only come from a place of empathy and recognition. It says: “I know you. I see you. I hear you. I understand you.”
Cheryl M-M’s Book Blog and here 15th May ————————–
I think the way Drori went about this was thought provoking. It’s a stage with Martin smack bang in the middle with a spotlight on him.
In de Boekenkast 16th May ————————–
Cultivating a Fuji is a very touching story about how hard it can be to fit in the crowd. Martin’s character is well-developed and even the minor personalities have their own past and problems in this wonderful story.
Grace J Reviewerlady 17th May ————————–
What a beautiful book! This is a novel I will reflect on time and time again.

This isn’t a ‘preachy’ read; rather it is one of understanding and compassion, and it has brought another excellent author into my world.

Extremely enjoyable, providing much food for thought and, in my humble opinion, no less than five stars will do it justice!

Radzy Writes 17th May ————————–
These scenes were deeply uncomfortable for me, as someone who experienced bullying, so I’d be mindful of how you feel, but it’s written sensitively and in a beautifully validating way.

The thing I appreciated most about this novel was the way the author constructed a novel elevating social anxiety as a real, difficult thing. She either experiences the illness herself or has done her work. Where the Curious Incident with The Dog in the Night-time is a beautiful novel explaining autism, this, for me, is the work to explain social anxiety.

Mai’s Musings 18th May ————————–
Even when I wasn’t reading the book I found I was thinking about it and counting down to when I could pick it up again.

This is an extremely important book for helping people gain an understanding of social anxiety, and just how deeply it can affect the entire lives of sufferers.

Book Lovers’ Booklist 19th May ————————–
Author Miriam Drori has written a compelling, heart-warming and thought-provoking UpLit exploration of loneliness and social anxiety.

It was impossible not to be gripped by Martin’s journey, which begins with a business trip to Japan.

And, then there’s a whammy of an ending that’ll leave you gasping…

Nesie’s Place 19th May ————————–
This is Martin’s story but there are multiple POVs to show not everyone thinks badly or only want to ridicule him. People want to help… they just don’t know how.

Cultivating a Fuji is a good read lovers of contemporary and literary fiction will enjoy, and the twisty conclusion will linger long after the story’s end.

What Cathy Read Next 19th May ————————–
Not everyone is without sympathy for Martin either but sometimes, as the book shows, people willing to help him (such as his boss, John) don’t know the best way to go about it or may inadvertently choose the wrong way.

There were some great scenes full of humour…

I really enjoyed the second part of the book in which we learn of Martin’s life following his return from Japan.

Cultivating a Fuji does a great job of highlighting the experiences of those with social anxiety disorder and the challenges they face using the medium of fiction.

Doublestackedshelves 20th May ————————–
I think the resilience Martin inadvertently learned from his school years, sets him on the path he takes, and propels the story forward into a new chapter in his life.

There are plenty of moments of contrition in this book, and the feel is generally cathartic. I did find certain aspects troubling, as I think we are meant to.

From Under the Duvet 20th May ————————–
Miriam Drori has sensitively exposed the reality of living with social anxiety and the impact it has on all involved while creating a character I love in an uplifting, memorable novel.
JenaBooks 21st May ————————–
Miriam Drori, the author, is a marvellous storyteller, especially in her ability to create real and relatable characters. You will be charmed by the story of Martin and all the people he meets. In this book, even the minor walk-on characters are fully developed with fascinating back stories.
Herding Cats 21st May ————————–
It’s such a beautiful and thought provoking story.

The first half of this book completely and utterly broke my heart then tenderly pieced it back together, filling it with so much joy.  This is really an uplifting novel.

Becca’s Books 22nd May ————————–
I thought the choice to tell the story from both Martin’s perspective and the perspective of those around him added depth to the emotional landscape. The author seems to understand the challenges faced by those of us with social anxiety as well as the troubles that exist for others who try to interact with us.
Books Are Cool 22nd May ————————–
This is a very cleverly constructed novel and beautifully written. There’s no preaching or wallowing. The author presents the issue of social anxiety and gives us a view from both sides: from those who experience it and those who feel that it’s OK to put others down and induce such misery. There’s hope and despair, love and disappointment, achievement and failure, happiness and missed opportunities in this richly textured book that’s rewarding and poignantly enjoyable to read.

And here are the articles I’ve written recently, mostly about the novel:

Website Date Title
Joan Livingston 6th May Meet Martin Carter of Cultivating a Fuji

Sue Barnard 10th May ————————–
What’s this thing with social anxiety?
Fiona Mcvie 10th May ————————–
Author Interview
Jennifer C. Wilson 14th May ————————–
Cultivating a Fuji from a Historical Aspect
WWBB 15th May ————————–
Quell those Negative Thoughts
B for bookreview 16th May ————————–
Romantic Relationships – the Missing Link
Jo Fenton 16th May ————————–
Themes in Cultivating a Fuji
donnasbookblog 18th May ————————–
Why I chose to write about a guy with Social Anxiety
BetweenTheLines 20th May ————————–
I do like to be beside the seaside
Dash Fan Book Reviews 22nd May ————————–
How to be Different and Still be Normal (written when I was in a strange mood, I think)
Katy’s Writing Coffee Shop 28th May ————————–
About Martin and the people who failed him. (I’d forgotten I was in a coffee shop!)
Always Write Again 10th June ————————–
Comparing social anxiety and autism. (Would have been better written if I’d realised my response would appear verbatim online.)
Catherine Fearns 11th June ————————–
A playlist for Cultivating a Fuji

There will be another article in July and other exciting things are in the planning stage. Watch this space!

In the meantime, if you haven’t read Cultivating a Fuji yet, what are you waiting for?

There are two more days of the blog tour for Cultivating a Fuji with Rachel’s Random Resources. I’m amazed at the wonderful reviews that have brightened my days, and at all the attention that has been paid to them, as well as to my articles and interviews.

Here they are, so far:

Articles and Interviews (via RRR and elsewhere)

Link Date Title
Joan Livingston 6th May Meet Martin Carter of Cultivating a Fuji

Sue Barnard 10th May ————————–
What’s this thing with social anxiety?
Fiona Mcvie 10th May ————————–
Author Interview
Jen Wilson 14th May ————————–
Cultivating a Fuji from a Historical Aspect
WWBB 15th May ————————–
Quell those Negative Thoughts
B for bookreview 16th May ————————–
Romantic Relationships – the Missing Link
Jo Fenton 16th May ————————–
Themes in Cultivating a Fuji
donnasbookblog 18th May ————————–
Why I chose to write about a guy with Social Anxiety
BetweenTheLines 20th May ————————–
I do like to be beside the seaside

Reviews

Link Date Quotes
Splashes Into Books 13th May This is a very moving story.

There are many other characters and the author does an amazing job of developing them all.

It is an intriguing and thought-provoking story, a very different read with a dramatic twist at the end that had me rethinking assumptions I’d made when reading the earlier part of the book.

The Bookwormery 15th May ————————–
[I] found it to be a moving description of social anxiety and just how traumatic a simple meeting can be for sufferers….yes there’s humour, but I found this to be a sad, poignant and thought provoking tale.
FNM 15th May ————————–
This is a book that is guaranteed to stay with you long after you read it, it is a book that really makes you think with a few surprises along the way.
Jan’s Book Buzz 15th May ————————–
Drori tells a story that can only come from a place of empathy and recognition. It says: “I know you. I see you. I hear you. I understand you.”
Cheryl M-M’s Book Blog 15th May ————————–
I think the way Drori went about this was thought provoking. It’s a stage with Martin smack bang in the middle with a spotlight on him.
In de Boekenkast 16th May ————————–
Cultivating a Fuji is a very touching story about how hard it can be to fit in the crowd. Martin’s character is well-developed and even the minor personalities have their own past and problems in this wonderful story.
Grace J Reviewerlady 17th May ————————–
What a beautiful book! This is a novel I will reflect on time and time again.

This isn’t a ‘preachy’ read; rather it is one of understanding and compassion, and it has brought another excellent author into my world.

Extremely enjoyable, providing much food for thought and, in my humble opinion, no less than five stars will do it justice!

Radzy Writes 17th May ————————–
These scenes were deeply uncomfortable for me, as someone who experienced bullying, so I’d be mindful of how you feel, but it’s written sensitively and in a beautifully validating way.

The thing I appreciated most about this novel was the way the author constructed a novel elevating social anxiety as a real, difficult thing. She either experiences the illness herself or has done her work. Where the Curious Incident with The Dog in the Night-time is a beautiful novel explaining autism, this, for me, is the work to explain social anxiety.

Mai’s Musings 18th May ————————–
Even when I wasn’t reading the book I found I was thinking about it and counting down to when I could pick it up again.

This is an extremely important book for helping people gain an understanding of social anxiety, and just how deeply it can affect the entire lives of sufferers.

Book Lovers’ Booklist 19th May ————————–
Author Miriam Drori has written a compelling, heart-warming and thought-provoking UpLit exploration of loneliness and social anxiety.

It was impossible not to be gripped by Martin’s journey, which begins with a business trip to Japan.

And, then there’s a whammy of an ending that’ll leave you gasping…

Nesie’s Place 19th May ————————–
This is Martin’s story but there are multiple POVs to show not everyone thinks badly or only want to ridicule him. People want to help… they just don’t know how.

Cultivating a Fuji is a good read lovers of contemporary and literary fiction will enjoy, and the twisty conclusion will linger long after the story’s end.

What Cathy Read Next 19th May ————————–
Not everyone is without sympathy for Martin either but sometimes, as the book shows, people willing to help him (such as his boss, John) don’t know the best way to go about it or may inadvertently choose the wrong way.

There were some great scenes full of humour…

I really enjoyed the second part of the book in which we learn of Martin’s life following his return from Japan.

Cultivating a Fuji does a great job of highlighting the experiences of those with social anxiety disorder and the challenges they face using the medium of fiction.

Doublestackedshelves 20th May ————————–
I think the resilience Martin inadvertently learned from his school years, sets him on the path he takes, and propels the story forward into a new chapter in his life.

There are plenty of moments of contrition in this book, and the feel is generally cathartic. I did find certain aspects troubling, as I think we are meant to.

From Under the Duvet 20th May ————————–
Miriam Drori has sensitively exposed the reality of living with social anxiety and the impact it has on all involved while creating a character I love in an uplifting, memorable novel.

Cultivating a Fuji by Miriam Drori

Apologies. There is no Word tip today. I’ve been too busy with my new book. Next week…

Cultivating a Fuji is only two days old and already there are several reviews. That’s because of the blog tour organised by Rachel’s Random Resources – a very worthy resource.

What pleases me most about all the reviews so far is that the reviewers understood what I was trying to do with this novel… well, almost.

Here’s a table of the reviews so far:

Website Date Quotes
The Bookwormery 15th May [I] found it to be a moving description of social anxiety and just how traumatic a simple meeting can be for sufferers….yes there’s humour, but I found this to be a sad, poignant and thought provoking tale.
FNM 15th May This is a book that is guaranteed to stay with you long after you read it, it is a book that really makes you think with a few surprises along the way.
Jan’s Book Buzz 15th May Drori tells a story that can only come from a place of empathy and recognition. It says: “I know you. I see you. I hear you. I understand you.”
Cheryl M-M’s Book Blog 15th May I think the way Drori went about this was thought provoking. It’s a stage with Martin smack bang in the middle with a spotlight on him.
In de Boekenkast 16th May Cultivating a Fuji is a very touching story about how hard it can be to fit in the crowd. Martin’s character is well-developed and even the minor personalities have their own past and problems in this wonderful story.

One of them has a question I’d like to ponder over.

This review and this review (because it’s on WordPress and Blogger) says, “Drori approaches the topic of social anxiety from the perspective of an outsider, someone living without anxiety, which is an interesting way to go about it.”

Martin does have a voice. It’s true that the novel begins with the views of those around him, but Martin’s thoughts and feelings are there, too.

Cheryl goes on to say, “I wonder if the author decided to approach it this way in an attempt to get more readers or people to relate, and in doing so have a better understanding of social anxiety and how our actions can have an impact on the lives of others.”

I did have something like that in mind. I wanted readers who had met someone like Martin to recognise what they might have thought about him before trying to understand how Martin feels.

But Martin’s point of view comes out strongly, and suggestions that he doesn’t have feelings are raised and refuted by characters in the novel and shown to be false by Martin himself.

Cultivating a Fuji by Miriam Drori

 

 

 

bodyimage_twitter_image_1200x675_yellow

In the UK, today is the start of Mental Health Awareness Week, and this year’s theme is: body image.

I know, mostly through meeting social anxiety sufferers online, that body image is huge among the causes or aggravators of social anxiety. People worry that they’re too tall, too short, too thin, too fat, too ugly. It doesn’t matter if these self-perceptions are true; they’re very real for their owners. For people with social anxiety, poor body image is another reason – sometimes the main reason – for them to cover up and hide themselves as much as possible.

And yet, there are other people who are just as tall, short, etc., who are happy with their bodies. Eurovision viewers are about to get another look at Netta, who seems perfectly content with hers.

Here’s a quote – from one of the many who kindly agreed for their words to be published anonymously in my non-fiction book, Social Anxiety Revealed:

I was told I was funny looking, ugly and weird and people laughed at me and I haven’t been able to shake it off, no matter how hard I try. Deep down, I know I’m not ugly, but when I’m in social situations my mind completely changes and there are those doubts and comments that people have made to me creeping around, and I begin to think I’m the ugliest person there.

Martin, the main character in my new novel, Cultivating a Fuji, doesn’t worry about the way he looks. He might have scolded himself for wearing the wrong clothes at a party, but he’s presumably fine with his body, because it’s not something he thinks about. The reason for that is probably that body image is not one of the things he was teased about at school.

For the person quoted above, it probably did start at school. Children can keep laughing at the victim for something that isn’t true, with no idea that this often causes poor self-image that can last for the rest of the victim’s life. This is why adults, who hopefully know better, need to intervene.

Cultivating a Fuji - Front Cover~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CULTIVATING A FUJI is released this Wednesday, 15th May, but there’s no need to wait. This is what you can do now:

10 Years of Blogging

Yes, this blog has been going for TEN years. The very first post went like this:

Speech is Silver; Silence is…

…not golden. Just a fake gold that soon dulls.  Like the necklace I bought in Cyprus. They told me it was gold. I knew they were lying, but I bought it anyway. I felt I had to buy something because they gave me tea….

I’ve been keeping silent for most of my life. It’s time to talk.

So tune in again, keep in touch and don’t suffer in silence.

A lot has happened to me in those ten years.

I began the blog anonymously, and eventually ‘came out.’ I was afraid of negative comments, but so far there haven’t been any.

I’ve had short stories and three… almost four… books published.

And I talk – not so much in conversations, but through my books and even in presentations. Slowly but surely, I’m telling the world about social anxiety.

Miriam Drori - Presentation on Social Anxiety

P.S. Not all my stories involve social anxiety.

EDIT: I was happy to receive this from WordPress:

Happy Anniversary from WordPress

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