Author: Miriam Drori

Author, editor, attempter of this thing called life. Social anxiety warrior. Re-Connections, a collection of short stories, published with Ocelot Press, 15/10/2025.

Categories
Israel

Do you know which festival is coming up?

That’s right, it’s Chanuka.

Or Hanukka, or Chanukah, or….

There are about twenty ways of spelling it in Latin letters, but only one in Hebrew: חנוכה

Like the festival of Sukkoth, it’s celebrated in Israel by religious and secular people alike. On each of the eight nights, we light candles (one on the first night, two on the second, and so on) in memory of the time the oil in the Temple lasted for eight days although there was only enough for one. And we eat doughnuts and other items made with oil. And we might play with a sevivon or dreidel or spinning top that will land on one of its four sides, which have letters standing for the words: (a) big miracle happened here.

And we sing songs. Young children love singing all the songs that go with the festival. So do I, but unfortunately I no longer have young children to sing them with.

Anyway, Chanuka is a fun festival, loved by all.

As for that other festival, here where it all happened is one place where you could fail to notice it. Unless you go to the Old City of Jerusalem, where it’s celebrated on three different dates by the different communities.

Categories
Social anxiety

An attention-grabbing post

It’s funny how a blog post can grab your attention, even though it apparently has nothing to do with you.

I was immediately grabbed by this one, even though I don’t have schizophrenia. It discusses delusional thoughts and suggests that a better policy, rather than trying to get rid of them, would be to make friends with them and find value in them.

I don’t have delusional thoughts. I have negative thoughts. (Doesn’t everyone?) I’m told that they’re irrational thoughts. CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) says, “Get rid of those irrational thoughts. Swap them for rational thoughts.

So, while I’m talking to someone, I’m thinking, “She doesn’t really want to talk to me. She thinks I’m boring.” CBT tells me to think, “No, that’s irrational. I can’t possibly know what she’s thinking.” But I find it hard to believe the new thought, so I go on believing the old thought. It seems quite rational to me, especially as she’s rolling her eyes / looking at her watch / saying, “Excuse me, I have to….”

Maybe (just maybe, because I know CBT has helped many people), that’s the wrong approach. Maybe I should make friends with my thoughts. Maybe I do seem boring. Maybe if I talked about the things I’m afraid of mentioning, because I’m afraid of being seen as “different,” I wouldn’t seem boring. Maybe if I just came out with it, instead of worrying whether what I want to say is worth saying, I wouldn’t seem boring. Just a thought….

Categories
Books

I’ve gone and done it again

Yes, I signed up for 100k in 100 days, another initiative by Sally Quilford. Can I write one thousand words a day for  a hundred days? I didn’t quite manage it last time, when I only had to write 80k in 80 days, so what makes me think I can do it this time?

Well, not a lot. But one thing I decided last time was that I need to do more planning beforehand. So now I have 21 days to plan. It doesn’t have to be a novel. It can be short stories or even non-fiction, but not a blog post on my own blog.

Any ideas? No, I think I have to come up with the ideas. Now where did I put that thinking cap?

Categories
Holidays

I’m back!

Just back from three weeks in the UK packed with fun and excitement. OK, it started with my mother’s stone setting, but even that provided an opportunity to meet family. Then there was a barmitzvah plus party – all very enjoyable. Then we met and stayed with a few friends of mine from university.

Then I had a week alone to stay with friends and do some interesting things. I saw the houses of parliament and tent city with Gill, and our journey back turned out to be quite an adventure. I saw Swansea Marina with Jane, and Swansea was the only place where I encountered heavy rain. (It always rains when I go to Wales. Either that or it always rains in Wales.) I visited a car pound with Tania, but hasten to add that she also gave me a quick tour of Bristol and took me to a cafe and a restaurant. And I attended another friend’s ballroom dancing class, and even joined in.

What I’ll remember the most are two things I don’t do enough at home. One is walking. D and I both enjoy walking. We always do plenty of it on holiday, but when we’re at home, it’s easy to find excuses: there are other things to do, there’s nowhere to walk to, we need a rest. It’s true we don’t have a river or sea or a large park near us, but we can drive to all of those and should do so more often.

The other thing I need to do more is talking. Talking is a bit of an effort for me, but it’s so satisfying and something I often miss at home. I was going to end by saying that some people are going to have to suffer listening to me, but really my conviction that people don’t want to hear me is one of the reasons why conversations are hard.

I’ll end, instead, with a Stephen King quote that I saw posted at some station:

If you go back and fix the past, make sure you don’t break the future.

That’s it for now. Next time, I might even post some photos.

Categories
Books

Surviving Beauty

I offered to proofread this book. In the end, I fell in love with it and did a lot more than proofreading. I suppose what I did was closer to editing. Not that it needed a lot of editing. The author obviously has extensive background knowledge and has worked hard to weave an intriguing plot round the places and things he describes, with the help of some believable and well-rounded characters.

In addition, this novel tackles a difficult topic that needs to be discussed more: the exploitation of youthful beauty – the sale of children’s images.

David Rory O’Neill blogs here, and you can see descriptions of all his novels on his blog.

***

There’s going to be a gap on this blog while I catch up with real life. I’ll be back next month.

Categories
Bullying

Revisit or Revise

Sorry – it’s been a while. I’ve been wondering what to write about. Then I saw this question on Facebook from A Soldier’s Mother:

What is the single moment you wish you could live over again? Not necessarily to change anything – just to experience it again?

There were several replies. Most found it hard to pick out a single moment. Me too. What would I choose? The moment after giving birth? How wonderful to relive that moment without having to suffer what goes before it! But isn’t the suffering part of what makes that moment so special?

At this point, I could go off on a different tangent: the value of suffering. But I won’t – not for now, anyway.

So, what other moments do I want to relive? Our wedding day is another significant one. But there are other, less notable moments I could relive. Walking on the mountains of Switzerland or elsewhere, dancing, giving a presentation to an audience. I really enjoy all of those.

A Soldier’s Mother later said she decided not to ask what moment people wanted to change in their lives because it could make them sad. But I thought about it anyway. One moment stuck out. There must be others, but this one blocks the others from my mind.

I was fourteen. I’d been bullied for nine years, although I never thought of it as “bullying”. I decided to stop talking. It was the only thing I could think of doing that might stop them tormenting me. It worked – partially. And I’ve been suffering from that decision ever since.

I don’t deny that my life has been good and still is, but it could have been better and easier and less complicated without it.

So, I invite you to think about either of those questions (without being sad – I’m not). And, of course, you’re welcome to comment below (although if you’re looking at this page of this site – not just this particular post – the comment button is at the top of the post).

Categories
Books Israel

Booths and Tales

If you wandered around towns in Israel this past week, you will have seen strange constructions dotted around, fitted into every possible space – on the ground and on balconies. They’re temporary dwellings to remind us of similar dwellings in which the Children of Israel lived during the forty years that they wandered through the desert.

Yes, it was the festival of Succoth, during which Israelis, religious and secular, honour the tradition of building, eating in and sometimes sleeping in booths. I was lucky enough to be invited to eat in the Sukkah of David and Ruth:

In this wonderfully-decorated sukkah, I was treated to a delicious vegetarian meal and delightful company.

***

In other news, the Society of Authors has now made a recording of the Twitter story, for which I contributed the last line – read by a real actor. Here it is:

Categories
Bullying

My Crime

Yes, I have decided to reveal all. I realise this could have serious consequences for me, notably that they’ll be coming to take me away. I just don’t know who “they” are.

So this is it. I promise I didn’t make this up. No, in fact I borrowed it from mapelba, who wrote it this comment: “I was a first class criminal in high school. I broke the laws of fitting in.”

A great comment. I could have said it myself. If I’d been clever enough.

***

My next post may well highlight the wide diversity in shapes and sizes of boo….

Until next time 🙂

Categories
Social anxiety

It doesn’t go away

I think this video, which I discovered via the Mind site, describes social anxiety very well. It’s not all that similar to my experience, but it’s typical:

Having met people who claim to have rid themselves of anxiety but don’t appear to have done, I think this sentence makes a lot of sense:

You never get rid of anxiety completely, but you learn to manage it.

Categories
Books

Facts about Writers

Do you want to know what makes a writer tick?

Here are a couple of facts. The first is brilliantly funny. It’s here.

And if you’re still in the mood for something more serious, this is what Amos Oz says in A Tale of Love and Darkness:

… that sour blend of loneliness and lust for recognition, shyness and extravagance, deep insecurity and self-intoxicated egomania, that drives poets and writers out of their rooms to seek each other out, to rub shoulders with one another, bully, joke, condescend, feel each other, lay a hand on a shoulder or an arm round a waist, to chat and argue with little nudges, to spy a little, sniff out what is cooking in other pots, flatter, disagree, collude, be right, take offence, apologise, make amends, avoid each other, and seek each other’s company again.

The period Oz is discussing was a century ago, but what he says is still true today, the difference being that you can now do some of those things without leaving your room.

Happy writing!