Author: Miriam Drori

Author, editor, attempter of this thing called life. Social anxiety warrior. Re-Connections, a collection of short stories, published with Ocelot Press, 15/10/2025.

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Uncategorized

This post is unlike all the others

What makes this post different?

  • It’s not about any topic I’ve mentioned before.
  • I’ve always avoided politics and this is political, although all the political parties, as far as I know, are on the same side.
  • By writing it, I admit that my country is not perfect. (More about that below.)

But:

This is an important issue, one that needs to be talked about and tackled. So I’m doing my bit. For those of you who don’t live here, I want to make two things clear:

  • Most of the ultra-orthodox Jews are against this behaviour.
  • Segregated buses run on specific routes and usually there are regular buses on the same routes. I’ve never ridden on one. No one polices the segregation; it is done by mutual consent.

Now read this.

This problem is at least as old as the state. Successive governments have turned a blind eye to it and let it mushroom, giving in to demands of the ultra-orthodox in return for support in other areas.

Why is it hard for me to admit that Israel is less than perfect? After all, no country is perfect. Why should Israel be any different? Because, when you feel the world is against you and believes all the lies that are bandied about, you want to counteract that with the good things, of which there are many.

I expect to be back to normal in my next post.

Categories
Social anxiety

Unseen Differences

Another blog post made me think today. This one came from Catdownunder:

There is a very, very small Indian community in Adelaide. It is so small that the sight of sari or turban causes people to look twice. It is all so very different from the area of London I lived in for seven years. I still miss the cultural diversity of London. It is quite different from the “multicultural” ethic here.
The sight of an Indian face at the checkout in the supermarket is even more unusual. There was a pleasant young girl in the “fast” lane yesterday. As people went ahead of me I could hear her dutifully saying the obligatory “Merry Christmas”. Some people would say “Merry Christmas” back. Others would nod, too busy to care about something said meaninglessly.
When I reached her and she said it to me I asked, “Do you celebrate Christmas?”
She looked surprised by the question and then admitted, “No, not really.”
So I said, “Well it is really much too late but would it be more appropriate for me to say I hope you had a happy Diwali?”
Her face lit up. “You know about that?” I do.
Now, instead of the professional smile there was a genuine one which reached her eyes as she said, “It was wonderful. Thankyou – and I really do hope you enjoy Christmas.”
If I happen to see her next Diwali I will give her good wishes at the appropriate time. I like it when that happens too.

My first thought was: how thoughtful of Cat. So many people seem to think that everyone must celebrate Christmas. Even if they don’t believe, surely they’d have a tree, give presents, gorge themselves. When I lived in Britain, people seemed to regard me as weird because we didn’t.

Then my thoughts moved on. If I’d been behind that checkout counter, Cat wouldn’t have wished me a happy Chanuka. How could she have known? Unless I’d gone out of my way to look different – maybe by hanging a big Star of David on my neck. But that would be rather in your face, like putting up a sign.

Sometimes I think it would be easier if all differences could be seen. That would avoid confusion and embarrassment. There’s another sign I’d like to put up. It would say:

Please don't go away. I really want to talk to you, but social anxiety makes it hard.

.

I have another three days of gorging ahead – on doughnuts and latkes.

Happy holidays everyone!

Categories
Books

Why count words?

Yesterday’s post brought this interesting comment from David Rory:

Sorry if this is one of those daft obvious questions – but why?
I see lots of writers getting involved in this kind of exercise and I’ve always wondered what are they are meant to achieve?
I guess I just can’t get my head round the idea of writing as an exercise in maths or strength building, like lifting weights.
I genuinely don’t get the motivation.
Once I’m ready to write I just do it and go on to the end. The word count per day is just not an issue for consideration. When I’m in the flow it can be anything from 800 to 4000+ per day.
I’m not meaning to be critical at all. I am truly interested to know what benefit you see in this kind of exercise.

I decided my reply needed a new post – this one.

If you can write like that, without any extra motivation, that’s wonderful. Carry on doing what you do. I wrote my first novel in that way. I knew my characters, I planned the whole story and even divided it up into chapters. Then I just wrote whenever I had time. I had a message I wanted to get out and I was keen to do it as fast as possible.

After writing my novel, I sent it to friends who liked it and made a few cautious comments. Then I joined my writing group, where I received many less cautious comments and learned a lot about writing. I rewrote the novel and attempted to find a publisher but eventually realised that my story, despite being enjoyed especially by those who could empathise with the characters, wouldn’t appeal to a publisher.

Now, I have more of an idea of what works and less confidence. I wonder if there’s any point to all this writing. Will I ever be able to get my message out?

Also, I like to write short stories. I’ve had more success with them, at the writing group and in the wide world. But short story writing isn’t the same as novel writing. There’s nothing pushing you to continue. Once you finish a story, that’s it. You can start a new one or you can chat on Twitter, have your goes in ongoing Scrabble games, tidy the kitchen.

Exercises like 100k in 100 days provide the motivation. Participants can post their achievements. And they can discuss any difficulties they might have with others who are attempting to do the same thing and will provide support.

That’s my reply. Would anyone else like to comment?

Categories
Books

How long does it take to write a thousand words?

If I have any chance of succeeding in my attempt to write a thousand words a day for a hundred days, it’s not enough to plan what I’m going to write. I also need to plan my day.

Here is my timetable:

From To Task
8:00 10:00 Write
10:00 12:00 Do my editing work
12:00 13:00 Social media, blogs, emails
13:00 13:30 Lunch
13:30 14:30 Housework
14:30 16:30 Write
16:30 19:00 Cooking and family time
19:00 20:00 Supper and clearing up
20:00 22:00 Ironing, washing

That looks good. I have four hours for writing. That must be enough time to write a thousand words. Right? Well, yes, if I have a thousand words ready to write. But what if I have to think a bit? About the voice, the character, the tense and all those other matters that need to be considered before starting.

Unless I decide to just plunge into it and then try writing the same story in different ways. That’s a good exercise I haven’t really tried. And it will up my word count. Hmm.

And what about all the things I haven’t included in the timetable: folk dancing, shopping, seeing people, reading (because it’s not enough to read in bed) and all the other things that might pop up. And weekends? Hmm.

EDIT: I forgot my writing group, which is a lot of work – polishing off the next submission, critiquing and attending the meeting every two weeks.

Oh well. That’s my plan and I probably won’t stick to it. But I’ll try.

Categories
Israel

Do you know which festival is coming up?

That’s right, it’s Chanuka.

Or Hanukka, or Chanukah, or….

There are about twenty ways of spelling it in Latin letters, but only one in Hebrew: חנוכה

Like the festival of Sukkoth, it’s celebrated in Israel by religious and secular people alike. On each of the eight nights, we light candles (one on the first night, two on the second, and so on) in memory of the time the oil in the Temple lasted for eight days although there was only enough for one. And we eat doughnuts and other items made with oil. And we might play with a sevivon or dreidel or spinning top that will land on one of its four sides, which have letters standing for the words: (a) big miracle happened here.

And we sing songs. Young children love singing all the songs that go with the festival. So do I, but unfortunately I no longer have young children to sing them with.

Anyway, Chanuka is a fun festival, loved by all.

As for that other festival, here where it all happened is one place where you could fail to notice it. Unless you go to the Old City of Jerusalem, where it’s celebrated on three different dates by the different communities.

Categories
Social anxiety

An attention-grabbing post

It’s funny how a blog post can grab your attention, even though it apparently has nothing to do with you.

I was immediately grabbed by this one, even though I don’t have schizophrenia. It discusses delusional thoughts and suggests that a better policy, rather than trying to get rid of them, would be to make friends with them and find value in them.

I don’t have delusional thoughts. I have negative thoughts. (Doesn’t everyone?) I’m told that they’re irrational thoughts. CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) says, “Get rid of those irrational thoughts. Swap them for rational thoughts.

So, while I’m talking to someone, I’m thinking, “She doesn’t really want to talk to me. She thinks I’m boring.” CBT tells me to think, “No, that’s irrational. I can’t possibly know what she’s thinking.” But I find it hard to believe the new thought, so I go on believing the old thought. It seems quite rational to me, especially as she’s rolling her eyes / looking at her watch / saying, “Excuse me, I have to….”

Maybe (just maybe, because I know CBT has helped many people), that’s the wrong approach. Maybe I should make friends with my thoughts. Maybe I do seem boring. Maybe if I talked about the things I’m afraid of mentioning, because I’m afraid of being seen as “different,” I wouldn’t seem boring. Maybe if I just came out with it, instead of worrying whether what I want to say is worth saying, I wouldn’t seem boring. Just a thought….

Categories
Books

I’ve gone and done it again

Yes, I signed up for 100k in 100 days, another initiative by Sally Quilford. Can I write one thousand words a day for  a hundred days? I didn’t quite manage it last time, when I only had to write 80k in 80 days, so what makes me think I can do it this time?

Well, not a lot. But one thing I decided last time was that I need to do more planning beforehand. So now I have 21 days to plan. It doesn’t have to be a novel. It can be short stories or even non-fiction, but not a blog post on my own blog.

Any ideas? No, I think I have to come up with the ideas. Now where did I put that thinking cap?

Categories
Holidays

I’m back!

Just back from three weeks in the UK packed with fun and excitement. OK, it started with my mother’s stone setting, but even that provided an opportunity to meet family. Then there was a barmitzvah plus party – all very enjoyable. Then we met and stayed with a few friends of mine from university.

Then I had a week alone to stay with friends and do some interesting things. I saw the houses of parliament and tent city with Gill, and our journey back turned out to be quite an adventure. I saw Swansea Marina with Jane, and Swansea was the only place where I encountered heavy rain. (It always rains when I go to Wales. Either that or it always rains in Wales.) I visited a car pound with Tania, but hasten to add that she also gave me a quick tour of Bristol and took me to a cafe and a restaurant. And I attended another friend’s ballroom dancing class, and even joined in.

What I’ll remember the most are two things I don’t do enough at home. One is walking. D and I both enjoy walking. We always do plenty of it on holiday, but when we’re at home, it’s easy to find excuses: there are other things to do, there’s nowhere to walk to, we need a rest. It’s true we don’t have a river or sea or a large park near us, but we can drive to all of those and should do so more often.

The other thing I need to do more is talking. Talking is a bit of an effort for me, but it’s so satisfying and something I often miss at home. I was going to end by saying that some people are going to have to suffer listening to me, but really my conviction that people don’t want to hear me is one of the reasons why conversations are hard.

I’ll end, instead, with a Stephen King quote that I saw posted at some station:

If you go back and fix the past, make sure you don’t break the future.

That’s it for now. Next time, I might even post some photos.

Categories
Books

Surviving Beauty

I offered to proofread this book. In the end, I fell in love with it and did a lot more than proofreading. I suppose what I did was closer to editing. Not that it needed a lot of editing. The author obviously has extensive background knowledge and has worked hard to weave an intriguing plot round the places and things he describes, with the help of some believable and well-rounded characters.

In addition, this novel tackles a difficult topic that needs to be discussed more: the exploitation of youthful beauty – the sale of children’s images.

David Rory O’Neill blogs here, and you can see descriptions of all his novels on his blog.

***

There’s going to be a gap on this blog while I catch up with real life. I’ll be back next month.

Categories
Bullying

Revisit or Revise

Sorry – it’s been a while. I’ve been wondering what to write about. Then I saw this question on Facebook from A Soldier’s Mother:

What is the single moment you wish you could live over again? Not necessarily to change anything – just to experience it again?

There were several replies. Most found it hard to pick out a single moment. Me too. What would I choose? The moment after giving birth? How wonderful to relive that moment without having to suffer what goes before it! But isn’t the suffering part of what makes that moment so special?

At this point, I could go off on a different tangent: the value of suffering. But I won’t – not for now, anyway.

So, what other moments do I want to relive? Our wedding day is another significant one. But there are other, less notable moments I could relive. Walking on the mountains of Switzerland or elsewhere, dancing, giving a presentation to an audience. I really enjoy all of those.

A Soldier’s Mother later said she decided not to ask what moment people wanted to change in their lives because it could make them sad. But I thought about it anyway. One moment stuck out. There must be others, but this one blocks the others from my mind.

I was fourteen. I’d been bullied for nine years, although I never thought of it as “bullying”. I decided to stop talking. It was the only thing I could think of doing that might stop them tormenting me. It worked – partially. And I’ve been suffering from that decision ever since.

I don’t deny that my life has been good and still is, but it could have been better and easier and less complicated without it.

So, I invite you to think about either of those questions (without being sad – I’m not). And, of course, you’re welcome to comment below (although if you’re looking at this page of this site – not just this particular post – the comment button is at the top of the post).