Author: Miriam Drori

Author, editor, attempter of this thing called life. Social anxiety warrior. Re-Connections, a collection of short stories, published with Ocelot Press, 15/10/2025.

Social anxiety

What does the word anxiety mean to you?

Post author By Miriam Drori
Post date Oct 7, 2009
4 Comments on What does the word anxiety mean to you?

Is it fear? Worry? Does it make you think of spiders? Constant worry over trivial matters? Or do you think it’s a lame excuse for people who are too lazy to get on with their lives?

I was amazed when I first saw it applied to me. What, me? Anxiety? No way! I’m not afraid of spiders, or flying. Not even of performing in front of an audience. I don’t worry that a disaster has befallen my loved ones when they still haven’t returned home.

The reason for my immediate denial of any connection with anxiety was probably the negative image of people who suffer from anxiety. They’re thought of as scaredy-cats, better to keep away from. It took me a while to accept that the word could apply to me, much longer to stop blaming myself for having “caused” a connection between myself and that dreaded word.

The fact is that anxiety is not something felt by a few people. It’s also not a term conjured up by the pharmaceutical companies to make money selling pills. Anxiety probably affects a lot more people than anyone realises. That’s because many are too afraid of being stigmatized to let on. And because many sufferers don’t even know they have it.

And people who have it are not cowards. In fact, those who are dealing with their problems are very brave to start and persist with a probably long and difficult process.

Somehow, the negative view of anxiety and those affected by it has to be turned around. Too many people are being ignored when they need help. Too many people are suffering needlessly. That’s why I need to explain. I just don’t know if anyone understands….

Tags anxiety, stigma, worry

Blogging Books

Revelation

I was never good at keeping things in. I did it too much and ended up hiding my personality – even to myself. Even this blog has been suffering from that disease. So now, all is revealed (well, maybe not quite all) in my guest post on place and writing that the lovely Tania Hershman kindly agreed to host on her blog.

Now that it’s all out, I need to add to my About Me page. In the meantime, I will say this: even though I live where I live, I will never intentionally blog about politics. Many people do this, some exceptionally well. I have another mission.

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Tags hiding personality, location, revelation, Tania Hershman

Bullying

Bullying ruins lives and toughens you

Post author By Miriam Drori
Post date Sep 21, 2009
10 Comments on Bullying ruins lives and toughens you

Rome What, both? How is that possible? If it toughens you, doesn’t that set you up for life rather than ruining it for you? Well, yes. That’s probably true. The fact is that bullying doesn’t affect everyone in the same way and that’s probably because of the different ways we react to it.

So if a group of other children laugh at you and say, “You’ve got your shirt on inside out,” do you say, “That’s OK, I like it that way.”? Do you cry? Or do you keep quiet? I chose the third way, keeping my feelings locked inside and making them think I didn’t have any.

When people have said that they were also bullied and the experience made them stronger, I used to blame myself. I thought it must be my fault that it didn’t have that effect on me. Now I think: Good for you! But how does that relate to me? How could I have known, as a child, that I should have reacted in a different way?

All roads lead to Rome, and, no matter which I follow, I always come to the same conclusion: it’s up to adults to provide guidance. Parents, teachers, whoever comes into contact with the child. Because children are not mature enough to understand the consequences of their actions.

PS My life wasn’t ruined – just spoilt.

Tags effects of bullying, hiding feelings, reactions to bullying, self-blame

Uncategorized

Quandary

TakingThePlunge Help! I’m standing on the edge and afraid to take the plunge. And that’s because I can’t see what I would jump into. Is the water rough or calm? Maybe there’s no water at all and diving in would be my downfall.

Maybe I should stop playing with metaphors and come to a decision. The problem is twofold:

Outside in

If people who only know me virtually get to know me from the outside – where I live, who I live with, what I do – will they still want to know me? I want to reach everyone, and especially anyone I can help. I wouldn’t want to put anyone off by bringing my outside in.

Inside out

If people who only know me from the outside get to know my inside – my thoughts and how they impact on my behaviour – will they dismiss me as a weirdo? I don’t want to put them off either.

But I spent my childhood keeping the secrets I was told to keep. I don’t want secrets of my own. And I’ve spent my life longing to be understood. I can’t be understood if I don’t explain. I know that if my novel is published … when my novel is published … the publishing of my novel would/will make this happen anyway, but do I want it now? Isn’t it happening anyway, willy nilly? Is my only question whether to speed up the process?

Others have done it. Why not me?

Help!

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Tags being understood, coming out, secrets

Blogging Books Rhymes

What I didn’t do on holiday

Post author By Miriam Drori
Post date Aug 23, 2009
8 Comments on What I didn’t do on holiday

Touch a computer, Tiger
Become a tutor,
Lose weight,
Smash a plate,
Go to a dance,
Take a chance,
Climb the Eiger,
See a tiger,
Live in a hovel,
Write a novel,
Or even a short story, a flash or a twenty-five worder,
Or a rhyme that sticks to rhythm or order.

But I did have a great time. And I thought a bit about the novel I want to write and where I want this blog to go. More next time ….

Now I’m off to find out how everyone has managed without me.

Tags holiday, return, vacation

Blogging Books Rhymes

Holidays

A time to walk.
A time to talk.
A time to look.
A time to read a book.
A time to write.
A time to be bright.
A time to relax.
A time to make tracks.
A time to unwind.
A time undefined.
A time to think.
A time to drink.
A time to eat.
A time to treat
Yourself.

So, we’re off for a well-earned holiday. Well-earned by my better half, that is. I’m tagging along and looking forward to it. And while I’m away, I plan to think about what I want to write, where I want my life to go and how this blog is going to fit into that. Currently, I’m thinking of writing about things I haven’t mentioned up to now. We’ll see.

Tara for now!

Tags holiday, rethink, revealing, vacation

Uncategorized

Did I do that, too?

MY CV

The other day, I happened to follow a link to something on the CNN website: 43 weird things said in job interviews. I found the weird things very funny. Except for one of them. In answer to, “Use three adjectives to describe yourself,” the interviewee said, “I hate questions like this.”

I didn’t laugh at that one. I stared at the screen askance. Oh my God! Did I say that? Well, I might have done. But, if I said it, I didn’t mean, I hate you for asking that question. I meant, I hate having to answer that question, because I tend to underrate myself and because I can’t think straight at interviews. The three adjectives that spring to mind now are: quiet, nervous and weird, although, given some more time, I could come up with intelligent, meticulous and friendly. At an interview, I probably wouldn’t be able to answer at all.

At this point, I could continue to talk about job interviews, or I could continue down a different path, and, as job interviews are not a happy topic as far as I’m concerned, I’ll move on to the other.

So, you’re talking to your mother-in-law and she complains about someone who was rude to her. What’s your first thought? I know what mine is: Oh dear, maybe I’ve behaved in that way, too.

A colleague tells you he’s just been dismissed. What do you think? I think: If he’s going, surely they’ll get rid of me, too. Whatever he’s done, I must have done.

Do you do that, too?

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Tags CV, describing yourself, job interviews, underrating yourself

Uncategorized

A funny thing happened to me this month

Post author By Miriam Drori
Post date Jul 23, 2009
2 Comments on A funny thing happened to me this month

Alien outside circle

Not funny ha-ha. Funny peculiar. Peculiar for me, that is.

I spent my childhood on the edge of the social circle, always looking for the way in, but never finding it. I spent most of my adulthood locking myself away from society and its imagined dangers. Divulging anything about myself that was a bit sensitive has always been hard due to conflicting voices within me. And also because no one would reciprocate. Why would anyone want to confide in me when they have so many others to choose from?

So, I was surprised when I received the email from J that I mentioned before. Just because it’s unusual for me to find myself in the position of confidante. And I felt that J deserved a serious and helpful reply.

J’s problem was not one that I knew about through personal experience, although I had read about it before. So I was hoping for some responses to my questions. On reflection, it’s not surprising that there weren’t any. Like J, anyone with experience of it probably wouldn’t want to announce it.

Do you tell all or keep things to yourself? How do you decide who to tell?

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Tags confiding, secrets

Books

Plagiarism

There are two cases of plagiarism that I remember from my past. One occurred when I was doing translation work for some students. One of the students (A) was having a lot of difficulty writing his piece. So one of the others (B) lent A hers, so that he could get an idea of the type of writing that was required. When A finally handed me his piece to translate, I realised that most of it was copied word for word from B’s. This made my work of translating much easier, as I was able to copy from my previous translation. I did tell B about that.

A so-called “psychologist” advertised himself on the Internet, using text copied from another site. I happened to remember that I’d read this before and checked to make sure. I didn’t do anything about it. Perhaps I should have done.

There are those who say that all work should be freely available to everyone to do what they want with it. That’s fair up to a point. But I would be very hurt if someone won a prize for work that I’d done, or even if my blog post appeared on another blog, attributed to someone else.

That’s why I’m joining the campaign against plagiarism, which is being organised today on How Publishing Really Works.

If you want to quote from my blog, I shall feel honoured – as long as you say that it’s a quote and include a link back here.

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Tags plagiarism