Books Social anxiety

I’m me and that’s all right

At the end of December, I wrote some new year resolutions. I don’t think I’ve kept any of them, including the first:

  • Read at least one book every week.

But I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t want to read a book every week. I want to savour books. I want to remember parts that made an impression on me, and think about what they mean. To me.

The book I’m reading now, Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert has a lot to say and plenty that I want to remember. Like: when you interrupt others, you’re saying, “I believe that what I am saying is more important than what you are saying.” And that has to mean, “I believe that I am more important than you.” Not that I do much interrupting, but it’s an insight into those who do.

The book is also full of jokes, which also say something. Like: “Sometimes the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

And I’ve never read anything before that makes depression humorous. Maybe I should try that with social anxiety.

I’ve taken so long to read this book that I’ve had to renew it at the library. But I’m totally OK with that.

I’m also not beating myself up over not keeping up with the 80,000 words in 80 days challenge. I can’t write that fast – especially when I also have to work out what’s going to happen next in my story. But that’s OK, because joining that group of writers has made me think about my novel every day and I’ve got further with it than I would have done without that incentive.

And maybe I haven’t kept any of those resolutions, but I’ve kept another one: not to hate myself to love myself.

Do you love yourself?