Categories
Uncategorized

Announcing the Winner

Well, I tried to run a competition on my blog, but in the end there was only one entry. The good thing was that this made my job of judging very easy. But I expect Annette would have preferred to have won against some other entries.

Just as I was thinking that I made a mess of this and wondering whether the task I set was too hard, or I didn’t advertise the competition enough, or I’m simply not worthy of holding a competition, Gill wrote this:

“I liked Annette’s entry and I’ll be happy to give her the prize, but wish my fractals had inspired more entries.”

So, while I was blaming my blunders, Gill was blaming her fractals. I suppose that’s better than blaming each other, although this points to a certain lack of confidence.

Hopefully, by my blog’s next birthday I’ll be more confident about running a competition. Or else I’ll let the day come and go without mentioning it.

By the way, whether you like it or not, I’m back from my bit of life and I have some ideas for posts lined up, so do come back soon.

And congratulations to Annette!

Categories
Uncategorized

Deadline Extension

It was silly of me to think that I would have time to handle the competition just now.

The new deadline for my competition is Wednesday, 14 April, 2010. You still have time to win three fractal images. The rules are here.

Happy writing!

Categories
Uncategorized

Normal service will be resumed

Is anyone else old enough to remember this?

Please do not adjust your sets.
Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.
We apologise for the break in service.

Sometimes real life intervenes. I should be back to normal in two weeks. Maybe less….
In the meantime, don’t forget my competition.

Categories
Uncategorized

Birthday, Interview and COMPETITION!

I’m one today.
Hip-hip-hooray!

To celebrate my first birthday, I’m posting my first interview and holding my first competition. Yes, at the end of this post you can win a prize. Here’s a clue to what that prize could be:

Interview

My guest today, Gill Downs, is not a writer, although, having been on the receiving end of many wonderful emails from her, I know she could be. She has appeared before in this blog, but this time she’s here to tell us about the business she has developed around the fascinating world of fractal images. Not having much idea of these, I began with the obvious question.

M: What are fractals?

G: Fractals are forms produced by fractal geometry and characteristically contain infinite copies of themselves at different points and scales, revealing more and more detail however closely you look at them.

Fractal geometry underlies the forms of the natural world, and the beauty of the patterns and structures seen in fractals are evocative of those found in nature – in, for example the self-similar patterns and forms of leaves and flowers, snowflakes, mountains, clouds and river networks.

M: What made you decide to create fractal images?

G: I came to making fractal images from a long-standing interest in fractals. I remember watching a fascinating TV programme about the Mandelbrot Set [M: see http://inpotential.com/wordpress/articles/numerology/arthur-clarke-fractals-colors-infinity/ for another fascinating programme] years ago when computers powerful enough to generate them were first available, so when I eventually had a half decent computer myself I began investigating fractal generating software. I had no idea before this that sophisticated fractal graphics programs had been developed and that there existed a whole world of fractal art and artists creating beautiful fractal images.

M: What have you learnt from this venture? Has it changed your aspect on life in any way?

G: I’ve learned a great deal of technical stuff, and I’ve acquired a lot of new skills which have wider applications. And it has changed my aspect on life through a deeper understanding of the role fractal geometry plays in shaping the universe. It’s also led me to becoming involved in communities, both real and virtual, based around fractals and/or art and artists.

M: Do you have to know a lot of maths to create the images or does the software do it all for you?

G: Well that’s not really an either/or question. No, you don’t have to understand the underlying maths to use the software, but even so it certainly doesn’t do it all for you. There are fortunately some very brainy formula writers who write the fractal formulas and colouring algorithms for the principal software I use, Ultra Fractal, but the parameters of the formulae can be changed and combined by the user in numerous ways to create an infinite variety of possible images, the characteristics of which are user-defined.

One of the virtual communities I’ve become involved with is the Ultra Fractal mailing list, on which formula writers and fractal artists share their work and knowledge. People ‘tweak’ each other’s images, answer questions, post tutorials and challenges etc. – it really is a wonderful resource for anyone who might be interested in trying their hand at making fractal images 🙂

**********

Gill, thank you so much for giving us a brief introduction to this complex topic.

Gill’s company is called ex entropy. If you want to know where the name comes from or any other information about fractal images and the cards and prints that ex entropy produces, you’ll probably find the answer at http://www.exentropy.co.uk/.

Competition

Gill has very kindly offered to give away three of her images to the winner of my competition. These will be of their own choosing, selected from any on the website, and will be sent rolled in a tube to wherever the winner is in the world.

So, here’s what you have to do. Write a story about a character who suffers from social anxiety or just describe such a character. If you’ve read some of my blog, you might have an idea about how such a character would behave. Or you might know someone who fits the bill. Or you can find explanations on the Internet.

The winner will be the person whose description or story best captures the essence of the disorder, in my opinion.

Rules: maximum 200 words, to be sent to miriamcompetition@yahoo.co.uk or as a comment to this post by Monday, April 5.

While you’re busy writing, I’ll be busy too – sping cleaning. Grrrrr!

Categories
Uncategorized

Time Limitations

The magazine of my university college arrived yesterday. My son can’t understand why I want to read about the place where I studied for just three years so many years ago. But I am interested. I like to read about current activities at the college, and about alumni and how they’ve fared since leaving the college. I also glance at the “In memoriam” section and was saddened this time to recognize two names: one who lectured me although he wasn’t much older than I and one who studied with me. The section also included some who had only just completed their studies.

Until recently, all those of my generation in my family were still alive. Sadly, three first cousins have since passed away.

Apart from feelings for the people whose lives were cut off, this also reminds me that time doesn’t stop. It’s not enough to have goals; they have to be fulfilled.

Categories
Uncategorized

A happy end to my chocolate story

At the end of this post is an offer you might want to accept.

If you’ve been following the poignant saga of my quest to receive some chocolate, you’ll know that I submitted two entries to Nicola Morgan’s Hotel Chocolat Halloween Competition and waited patiently for the results (while trying to decide between the two people competing to be my nominees, only to find that I hadn’t won, although I did get very close.

But that wasn’t the end of the story. Nearly a month ago, a lovely lady called Teresa Stenson offered to do this thing that some people call, “Pay it forward.” Teresa called that a painful expression and I tend to agree. She called it a “Random act of kindness,” which sounds better.

So, for a change, I put aside all doubts and put my name down to receive something from Teresa, and today I discovered a little package in our letterHotel Chocolate Box box. Opening it, I found a box of four chocolates from Hotel Chocolat – the very same Hotel Chocolat that provided the prizes for that competition. This was better than winning the prize, because Hotel Chocolat wouldn’t have sent the chocolate out of the UK, but Teresa did. She also sent a beautiful card with a personal message on it.

I rushed up to my computer (with the chocolates of course – I couldn’t let them out of my sight), thanked Teresa while keeping one eye on the chocolates, and began sampling the chocolates. Chocolate brownie, butterscotch ganache with shortbread biscuit, Amarena cherry suspended in Amaretto buttercream and praline with crispy pancake. Each of them was soft, creamy, and delicious. And they came at a great time for me, soon after my first publication.

Thank you, Teresa, for that lovely act of kindness.

And now for my part. This is how it works: the first three people who comment on here will receive something lovely from me. Each of them has to promise to send something lovely to three other people – not necessarily via a blog. That’s all. So who are those three people going to be? Come on – don’t be shy. I wasn’t.

Categories
Uncategorized

Quandary

TakingThePlungeHelp! I’m standing on the edge and afraid to take the plunge. And that’s because I can’t see what I would jump into. Is the water rough or calm? Maybe there’s no water at all and diving in would be my downfall.

Maybe I should stop playing with metaphors and come to a decision. The problem is twofold:

Outside in

If people who only know me virtually get to know me from the outside – where I live, who I live with, what I do – will they still want to know me? I want to reach everyone, and especially anyone I can help. I wouldn’t want to put anyone off by bringing my outside in.

Inside out

If people who only know me from the outside get to know my inside – my thoughts and how they impact on my behaviour – will they dismiss me as a weirdo? I don’t want to put them off either.

But I spent my childhood keeping the secrets I was told to keep. I don’t want secrets of my own. And I’ve spent my life longing to be understood. I can’t be understood if I don’t explain. I know that if my novel is published … when my novel is published … the publishing of my novel would/will make this happen anyway, but do I want it now? Isn’t it happening anyway, willy nilly? Is my only question whether to speed up the process?

Others have done it. Why not me?

Help!

Signature

Categories
Uncategorized

Did I do that, too?

MY CV

The other day, I happened to follow a link to something on the CNN website: 43 weird things said in job interviews. I found the weird things very funny. Except for one of them. In answer to, “Use three adjectives to describe yourself,” the interviewee said, “I hate questions like this.”

I didn’t laugh at that one. I stared at the screen askance. Oh my God! Did I say that? Well, I might have done. But, if I said it, I didn’t mean, I hate you for asking that question. I meant, I hate having to answer that question, because I tend to underrate myself and because I can’t think straight at interviews. The three adjectives that spring to mind now are: quiet, nervous and weird, although, given some more time, I could come up with intelligent, meticulous and friendly. At an interview, I probably wouldn’t be able to answer at all.

At this point, I could continue to talk about job interviews, or I could continue down a different path, and, as job interviews are not a happy topic as far as I’m concerned, I’ll move on to the other.

So, you’re talking to your mother-in-law and she complains about someone who was rude to her. What’s your first thought? I know what mine is: Oh dear, maybe I’ve behaved in that way, too.

A colleague tells you he’s just been dismissed. What do you think? I think: If he’s going, surely they’ll get rid of me, too. Whatever he’s done, I must have done.

Do you do that, too?

Signature

Categories
Uncategorized

A funny thing happened to me this month

Alien outside circle

Not funny ha-ha. Funny peculiar. Peculiar for me, that is.

I spent my childhood on the edge of the social circle, always looking for the way in, but never finding it. I spent most of my adulthood locking myself away from society and its imagined dangers. Divulging anything about myself that was a bit sensitive has always been hard due to conflicting voices within me. And also because no one would reciprocate. Why would anyone want to confide in me when they have so many others to choose from?

So, I was surprised when I received the email from J that I mentioned before. Just because it’s unusual for me to find myself in the position of confidante. And I felt that J deserved a serious and helpful reply.

J’s problem was not one that I knew about through personal experience, although I had read about it before. So I was hoping for some responses to my questions. On reflection, it’s not surprising that there weren’t any. Like J, anyone with experience of it probably wouldn’t want to announce it.

Do you tell all or keep things to yourself? How do you decide who to tell?

Signature

Categories
Uncategorized

Beauty and the Beast

Beauty and the Beast

Beauty is only skin deep, they say. But how “only” is “only”?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, they say. Yet, many beholders seem to agree with each other. But so what? Who cares? Why should looks matter?

Many people whose bodies look less than perfect seem happy and confident. Many others are unhappy with their bodies, although they look fine.

If I sound confused, it’s because I am. I’ve always been happy with my body. When I was younger, I knew that men were attracted to my body, but later turned off by my personality, or apparent lack of it. My “issues” have never been affected by my body or my view of it.

The cause of my recent reflections on body image is an email I received from J, someone I’ve known for a long time. J read my blog and wondered how much social anxiety is affected by body image. J, it transpires, has often refrained from taking part in conversations because of J’s body image, i.e. being fat.

I was stunned by this email for two reasons, and had to reread it to make sure this is really what it said. My first reaction was, “But J isn’t fat and never has been!” Also, I’ve always thought of J as outgoing and talkative. How could I have failed to notice? Well, maybe because I’ve always seen J in friendly, non-threatening situations – situations in which even I have talked a fair amount. And maybe I was too wrapped up in my own problems, although I don’t think that’s true – I tend to be a good observer.

I looked up BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder). As far as I know, the definition is too strong for J. But I do know that some sufferers of social anxiety also suffer from BDD, and poor body image has caused them to withdraw from society.

It’s hard for me to understand all this, just as it’s hard for some to understand social anxiety. I believe that it’s a big problem, but don’t really understand why. Why do some people have poor images of their bodies and why should this affect their participation in society?

The other reason why I was stunned by the email is a topic for another post.

Signature