Categories
Books Social anxiety

A Year of Social Anxiety Revealed

Social Anxiety Revealed: the Launch PartyAugust 22 marked a year since my non-fiction book, Social Anxiety Revealed was published by Crooked Cat Books.

This was the book I wrote first, before I even thought of writing fiction, before I had any notion that I could be creative. I did what I knew, after years working as a technical writer. I collected quotes from people I met (mostly online) who agreed to having them published as long as they remained anonymous, and organised the material into chapters and sub-chapters, adding text of my own. I also added humorous asides and, since I was quite an expert in using Word, I created different styles for each type of text (quotes, humour, etc.) to make the each one stand out. I had no idea what a nightmare this would cause for a publisher.

Then I tried to get my book published, and started to realise how difficult that is.

Fast forward about twelve years. (I hope my husband doesn’t read this. He’d be shocked at my use of that expression.) After Crooked Cat had published two of my fiction books, they agreed to publish Social Anxiety Revealed. I revised it, adding further information. I then worked with my wonderful editor, Sue Barnard, who made the book shine.

Then Crooked Cat went through the nightmare of turning it into a publishable format and somehow came out the other side.

Cover: Social Anxiety RevealedWhat has happened in the year since publication?

A lot of people have expressed interest, at the launch party and since. There have been some fabulous reviews, from people on two sides of the divide: “sufferers” and therapists. (Actually, it’s not so much of a divide. It’s often the ones who have gone through something like this who decide to become therapists.) I’m thrilled every time I hear that the book has helped someone. I have presented a talk on the topic and led a workshop, which also gathered a lot of interest. I hope to do more of that in the future.

I do hope my book and social anxiety in general will become better known. I believe many people would be much better off if that happened.

We Need to Talk about Social Anxiety

Categories
Books Social anxiety

The Word

Have You Heard the Word?

Say the word and you’ll be free
Say the word and be like me
Say the word I’m thinking of
Have you heard the word is…

INCREDIBLY

Yes. If you live in the UK, listen to yourselves, listen to others, listen especially to Radio 4. This is the word you’ll hear more than all others. Nothing is very or really or amazingly any longer. Oh no! INCREDIBLY is the all-encompassing word.

It’s so fine, it’s sunshine
It’s the word…

Back in 1965 the word was love, but now the word is INCREDIBLY.

—0—

I had slots in three book launch parties recently and popped into others. Congratulations to:

I’ve read Heathcliff, which is excellent (or should I say: incredibly good?). I’m reading The Brotherhood, which promises to be excellent, too. I have yet to read the others, but I’m sure I’ll enjoy them. After all, they’re all published by Crooked Cat, which has published some incredibly good books. And mine.

—0—

This week, I read a blog post by Social Anx that resonated with me. In fact, I thought it incredibly powerful, even though not everything in it applies to me. It inspired a post of my own on the other blog.

—0—

See you next Friday. I hope the week works out incredibly well for you!

Categories
Books Social anxiety

Not Today

LettersFromElsewhereDark

Letters from Elsewhere will not appear today, but it will be back next Friday, and before that, on Tuesday, there will be a special post. So, keep tuning in and have a great weekend!

And remember:

WeNeedToTalkAboutSocialAnxiety

Categories
Social anxiety Uncategorized

The Shock of a Reader

Good morning, everyone.

Letters from Elsewhere won’t appear this morning, I’m afraid, due to a misunderstanding. It might appear later today or on a different day. We shall see.

Instead, I have a surprise for you… someone who was shocked on reading my book.

ShockedReader

You can read her story on the other blog.

Categories
Holidays Social anxiety

Home Again

Yes, I was away again – another trip to the UK. This one was shorter than the last – only two weeks, but very worthwhile. I visited friends and family. I had a lovely week with my husband in Stratford-upon-Avon, Eastbourne and Richmond.

Anne Hathaway's Cottage
Anne Hathaway’s cottage, Stratford-upon-Avon (photo by David Drori)

But the main reason for the trip was to give a talk and a workshop on social anxiety. I’m pleased and proud with the way they went and hope to do more of that in the future. I wrote more about the talk and the workshop on the other blog.

I might be a bit quiet for a bit, as I have many things to attend to. But don’t forget the next in the series Letters from Elsewhere, which will be on 20th April.

And… Happy Birthday to this blog, which is nine years old tomorrow (23rd March).

Categories
Books Social anxiety

Spreading the Word

I’m looking for places to give more talks about Social Anxiety in the UK during the first half of March. Because everyone should know about it but so few do.

Maybe you belong to a social group where they’d be interested. Or you have connections with a library, college, uni, school or…. The possibilities are endless.

I will be there anyway to lead an NUT workshop and to give talks.

Cover
Social Anxiety Revealed
Categories
Holidays Social anxiety

Giving Presents – Your Chance to be Creative

It’s that time of year (for some). The time when you have to think up presents for everyone. It’s hard.

But there’s one person who wouldn’t be a problem. You know exactly what you want to give that person. You know she’s quiet and locked inside herself. You know he’d benefit from reading

Cover
Social Anxiety Revealed

because you’ve read it yourself. You know it’s an easy-to-read, no-nonsense, comprehensive book.

However, there’s still a problem. You don’t want to embarrass that person. If he opened it in front of others, he wouldn’t thank you for giving it to him.

How can you give her the book, disguise what’s inside the package and make sure she opens it when she’s alone?

This is where your creative abilities come in. I’ve done my part. I wrote the book and I put the challenge to you!

Categories
Holidays Social anxiety

AWOL Again

Before anything else, I was shocked 😉 to discover that not everyone has seen my video introducing Social Anxiety Revealed. If you’re one of those unfortunate people, here’s the link you need to sort it: [See it, say it, sorted. Don’t mind me; I’m just learning the lingo. See below.]

***

“It’s been an awfully long time since you last wrote a blog post,” said everyone.

“I know,” I replied, “and I’m awfully sorry, but life got in the way again.”

“You haven’t been travelling again, have you?” said everyone.

“Actually, I have.” I gave a sheepish grin. “I’ve literally spent like the last six weeks in various like places in the UK.”

“Picked up the lingo, too,” said everyone.

“Just trying to blend in. I didn’t like it when two people I met in Cardiff thought I sounded foreign. I mean… well… if I don’t sound British, then what do I sound?”

Making Welsh Cakes
Making Welsh cakes in Cardiff market

“Weird?” suggested everyone.

“Yeah, but apart from that.”

“What have you been up to?” said everyone, clumsily changing the subject.

“I went geocaching around Wittenham Clump. I did belly dancing and zumba. I walked in Devon, Cambridge, the Lake District, Chess Valley and Richmond. I travelled in cars, buses, trains, planes, a bicycle and a boat.

Cycling in Devon

“I got detrained in Newark. I know I did, because the guard said so, so I don’t care about that red squiggly line that’s appeared below the word. (And no, I don’t want to change it to detained, retained or restrained, but if you annoy me any more, Spelling Checker, you may have to restrain me to prevent me from getting detained.)

“I spent five days at an Arvon retreat and have some great ideas about how to complete one of my works in progress.

Totleigh Barton

“I ate in various restaurants, including Mexican, Italian and Indian. I ate sandwiches a little too often. I ate food on planes that I didn’t particularly like. I enjoyed home cooking that I didn’t have to prepare. The most delicious thing I ate was cheesecake in a Turkish café in Chesham.

“I visited art museums and an old house. I saw a musical, two plays and a film.

“I read books, including one that I loved: Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman. I also read from one out loud, while taking part in a book festival.

Reading
Reading from Neither Here Nor There

“I had two dogs and a cat on my lap… at different times. But most of all, I met and talked to lots of people and had a great time doing it. I hope they enjoyed my company, too.”

Swansea

“Sounds wonderful,” said everyone.

“It was!”

Categories
short stories Social anxiety

ISOLOTTERED

The wonderful, amazing, one-of-a-kind Ailsa Abraham, who often goes by the name of Otter, chose me as the winner of her competition at my recent launch party for my new book: Social Anxiety Revealed.

I chose to win one of her short stories. For the topic, I chose a socially anxious otter, of course. Here’s the result, sweet and satisfying and… probably with an underlying message. What do you think?

ISOLOTTERED

Ask anyone what their first reaction to the word “otter” is and 75% or more will say “playful”. This is usually correct. They are one of the few mammals who still play as adults, just for fun, not developing skills but enjoying each other’s company.

This is why a very small female otter was so different. She had been the runt of a very large litter and never gained full mature size so was easily bullied by her four brothers. This meant that she also went without food a lot of the time which didn’t help her growth.

Anxious Otter

She sat on the riverbank, desperately wanting to join in the mud-slide game, knowing how it was played but too timid to try. One after the other, her brothers slid down the mud, cleaving gracefully into the water, emerging spitting and laughing. Her empty tummy turned over. She wanted to slide. She should slide, it was what otters did. It was her right to slide. The rest of the “romp” were casting sidelong glances at her odd behaviour.

Grabbing the moment when her courage was highest and her self-doubt squashed, she launched herself at the mud-slide just as an elderly matron otter was wiggling her bottom to get traction to start off. The two of them became a tangle of legs, tails and frantic squeaking, rolling over and over to make a resounding splash as they hit the river with anything but grace.

The elderly female had produced several litters and was forgiving of the clumsy youngster but the little otter swam away, disgusted with herself. She had tried to join in and had nearly killed someone respected in the community. She would go hunting. She was hungry and the one thing she could do very well was a solo activity. She was happiest when catching fish, finding a concealed spot on the bank and stuffing her belly.

From there is became a fear with her of standing out. She remembered the whole group looking at her in disbelief and never wanted that to happen again. She had a small number of females of a similar age who would tolerate her but in general she kept to herself, which is how the accident happened.

As the others were playing at chasing butterflies and the little otter knew she would just be in the way, trip them up or fall on her back, she wandered off to stray into Man land. She had been told to avoid humans as they were usually trouble and their “rolling feet” were always fatal in the end. She found herself by one of these rolling feet paths and lay, terrified by the monsters as they rushed past. She could smell a good place on the other side of the path, what little she could smell over the stink of their bums! It called to her and she dashed out to cross the path just as a monster appeared out of nowhere. It did not hit her but the rush of air knocked her over and she bumped her head on the hard ground.

When the little otter woke up she was in a very strange place that smelled of many different animals, Man and very clean stuff. Raising her head she saw hard things like reeds in front of her face. Putting up a paw she felt them, cold, solid and immoveable. She was surrounded and trapped by the hard reeds and she began to cry. Next to her, in another set of hard reeds, was a cat. She knew cats. They came by the river to hunt rodents and never bothered the otters. The cat was difficult to place, male or female and its voice was drowsy.

“No cry. All good here.” That was all she could make from its mewing.

“I am frightened. I want my holt. Want my… my …group.” She didn’t say friends because she didn’t have any. The last word came out as a hiccup and she didn’t think the cat would understand.

“I had go-to-sleep-milk. Will be well. Man come touch you. All well.” The cat dozed off again, his head against the hard reeds, so the otter put her paw through them to keep contact. Her fingers rested on his whiskers and she felt comforted. It smelt male but not quite male.

She must have gone to sleep herself then because the next thing she knew a human face was on the outside of the hard reeds, looking in at her and squeaking, softly. The noises made no sense to the otter but the feeling coming off this one with female smell was “mother”. She dared to look at the face and saw no teeth bared but the eyes were squeeze-shut like a cat’s when it is happy. The little otter poked a paw out between the hard reeds and squeaked “lonely” at her. The cat was awake and said

“Good human. Friend. Play nice. No bite.”

The little otter had never bitten anyone in her life, apart from fish, so when the human put a paw in to pick her up, she just curled into a ball and trembled. She found herself next to the female’s chest being stroked and hearing small, comforting sounds. It was like being in her litter with her brothers but she had this body all to herself. She found herself nestling in and being at ease.

***

As soon as I walked into the post-op room and saw Sarah holding the otter, I knew exactly how it would go. It so often did. She was a one-woman walking animal rescue centre and we sometimes wondered how she managed it on her salary. We often paid her overtime in animal food and she said that now her two boys were off her hands she had plenty of pocket money. Perhaps the animals filled the gap left by them.

“Well now…is this an adoption I see before me?” I wondered.

Sarah turned, reddening.

“Sorry, Geoff, she was being unhappy and I had to hold her. Look, she’s quite contented now.”

Happy Otter

“So would I be in her position!” It was a standing joke in the surgery that Sarah’s breasts came around the corner a minute before the rest of her appeared and she laughed, good-naturedly at my jest.

She popped the young otter on the table for me to examine again, gently resting her hands on its neck to stop it running away.

“No damage from the accident but look here, I’m sure her eyesight is poor. She seems uncoordinated.  I wonder if she is a runt that shouldn’t have survived?” I shone the light into the animal’s eyes, then encouraged it to walk a few steps. “I really don’t know if we could risk putting her back, not smelling of vets and a bit wonky.” Sarah’s eyes met mine above the table. We both knew.

“Well, in that case, I’ll take her home with me and keep an eye on her. We don’t have the cage space here for her. If she looks any better I’ll bring her in and if you think it’s right, we can return her to the wild.” Sarah said as she scooped the otter up into her arms, its head on her shoulder again.

“Looking at how she’s taken to you, I doubt very much that she’ll want to.” I turned to leave the room adding, “Take some fishy cat food with you. Your new guest is going to need feeding up, she’s tiny.”

***

The little otter had finally found a friend and in that friend’s house, a new group to which she could belong. Different animals with different handicaps, all a bit wonky but all loved to bits. There she could socialise and feel at home.

 

Categories
Books Social anxiety

The Sad Tale of the Facebook Live Video

As you may have seen from the edit of my precious post, Facebook lost the live video I made yesterday.

But today I made another video (not live) which appears below. Make sure you have tissues ready…