Here are four responses to my last post on writing about fathers:
Just write down your thoughts and feelings.
I’m taking this one on board. I’ve been overthinking the writing part. I should write it all down and then decide what to include in the memoir.
Talk into a tape about the memories and use the recordings as a basis.
This could help many people. I’m not so into talking. I prefer writing.
What about abusive fathers?
It’s a valid point, or would be if I were planning a project on fathers in general and how to write about them. But actually, I’m planning to write about my father as part of my memoir, and my father wasn’t abusive.
The comment from Jean Davison is most helpful.
It describes a situation that’s probably very common. As young children, we look up to our parents for love and protection and see only the good in them. But as we grow older, we realise the complexity of their characters and often disapprove in part. I think this can be particularly true of fathers. In the past, they were the breadwinners and also had more of an opportunity to escape responsibilities. The biggest challenge when writing a memoir is to decide what to include and what to leave out.
Check out Jean’s excellent memoir: The Dark Threads.
Miriam Drori, Author 