Author: Miriam Drori

Author, editor, attempter of this thing called life. Social anxiety warrior. Re-Connections, a collection of short stories, published with Ocelot Press, 15/10/2025.

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Books

First Times

First times are special, aren’t they. You remember them all your life. I remember my first day at school, aged five years and one week, even though ten… twenty… thirty… many years have passed since then. I remember my first boyfriend, my first baby and many other firsts.

Yesterday is also a day I’ll remember. The first time a story of mine has been published: http://www.metazen.ca/?p=915. A humorous story highlighting a pitfall of social media. And while I don’t want to turn this blog into one that brags about my achievements, this is the first time and I’m basking in the glory.

Categories
Books

Exciting News

I have been published for the first time at http://www.metazen.ca/?p=915.

I’ll write more about this tomorrow. For now, this is all I can manage.

Categories
Books

Don’t enter this competition

DO NOT under any circumstances enter Nicola Morgan’s Hotel Chocolat Halloween Competition. I have submitted my two entries and I intend to win, so make sure you don’t click that link and, even if you do, don’t send any entries of your own.

Not that I can actually win the chocolate *sob*, because I’m not in the UK, but I can nominate someone who is and will love me forever more.

Remember: YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

😉

Categories
Rhymes

The voice in my head

The voice in my head shouts out loud,
But its sound isn’t heard by the rest of the crowd.
The voice in my head speaks in no tongue,
And yet its caustic words have stung.
The voice in my head says I’m stupid and dumb.
The voice in my head says I interest no one.
I try to tell it it’s got it all wrong,
But the voice in my head just sounds the gong.
“Go back,” it says, “and hide away.
Nobody wants to hear you today.”

Categories
Social anxiety

What does the word anxiety mean to you?

AnxiousIs it fear? Worry? Does it make you think of spiders? Constant worry over trivial matters? Or do you think it’s a lame excuse for people who are too lazy to get on with their lives?

I was amazed when I first saw it applied to me. What, me? Anxiety? No way! I’m not afraid of spiders, or flying. Not even of performing in front of an audience. I don’t worry that a disaster has befallen my loved ones when they still haven’t returned home.

The reason for my immediate denial of any connection with anxiety was probably the negative image of people who suffer from anxiety. They’re thought of as scaredy-cats, better to keep away from. It took me a while to accept that the word could apply to me, much longer to stop blaming myself for having “caused” a connection between myself and that dreaded word.

The fact is that anxiety is not something felt by a few people. It’s also not a term conjured up by the pharmaceutical companies to make money selling pills. Anxiety probably affects a lot more people than anyone realises. That’s because many are too afraid of being stigmatized to let on. And because many sufferers don’t even know they have it.

And people who have it are not cowards. In fact, those who are dealing with their problems are very brave to start and persist with a probably long and difficult process.

Somehow, the negative view of anxiety and those affected by it has to be turned around. Too many people are being ignored when they need help. Too many people are suffering needlessly. That’s why I need to explain. I just don’t know if anyone understands….

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Blogging Books

Revelation

I was never good at keeping things in. I did it too much and ended up hiding my personality – even to myself. Even this blog has been suffering from that disease. So now, all is revealed (well, maybe not quite all) in my guest post on place and writing that the lovely Tania Hershman kindly agreed to host on her blog.

Now that it’s all out, I need to add to my About Me page. In the meantime, I will say this: even though I live where I live, I will never intentionally blog about politics. Many people do this, some exceptionally well. I have another mission.

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Categories
Bullying

Bullying ruins lives and toughens you

RomeWhat, both? How is that possible? If it toughens you, doesn’t that set you up for life rather than ruining it for you? Well, yes. That’s probably true. The fact is that bullying doesn’t affect everyone in the same way and that’s probably because of the different ways we react to it.

So if a group of other children laugh at you and say, “You’ve got your shirt on inside out,” do you say, “That’s OK, I like it that way.”? Do you cry? Or do you keep quiet? I chose the third way, keeping my feelings locked inside and making them think I didn’t have any.

When people have said that they were also bullied and the experience made them stronger, I used to blame myself. I thought it must be my fault that it didn’t have that effect on me.  Now I think: Good for you! But how does that relate to me? How could I have known, as a child, that I should have reacted in a different way?

All roads lead to Rome, and, no matter which I follow, I always come to the same conclusion: it’s up to adults to provide guidance. Parents, teachers, whoever comes into contact with the child. Because children are not mature enough to understand the consequences of their actions. 

PS  My life wasn’t ruined – just spoilt.

Categories
Social anxiety

Miriam completed the quiz

Yes, I know. I started something last time and I have to finish it. But in theAnxious dog meantime….

Facebook quizzes. A bit of fun. You answer the questions, publish the result with some witty comment and might spark a few replies.

So my Facebook friend, Kim, took the quiz: “What mental disorder are you?” and got the result: “kleptomania.” She thought that was funny and so did I. I liked the alliteration, too. So I took the quiz and got:

Miriam completed the quiz “What mental disorder are you?” with the result Social Anxiety Disorder.

You do not like being with people. They make you nervous. It is much easier to relate to them on Facebook, where you can stalk them without them seeing you.

Somehow, I didn’t find that funny, so I didn’t post it on Facebook. Most of it is too true. But, I do like being with people. And I don’t stalk people. Or do I? Maybe, if I don’t say anything it seems that way. It’s not what I intend, but could be how it appears.

Which leads to a lot of questions. Do you like Facebook quizzes? Do you take jokes too seriously? Do I stalk you? What mental disorder are you? And more….

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Uncategorized

Quandary

TakingThePlungeHelp! I’m standing on the edge and afraid to take the plunge. And that’s because I can’t see what I would jump into. Is the water rough or calm? Maybe there’s no water at all and diving in would be my downfall.

Maybe I should stop playing with metaphors and come to a decision. The problem is twofold:

Outside in

If people who only know me virtually get to know me from the outside – where I live, who I live with, what I do – will they still want to know me? I want to reach everyone, and especially anyone I can help. I wouldn’t want to put anyone off by bringing my outside in.

Inside out

If people who only know me from the outside get to know my inside – my thoughts and how they impact on my behaviour – will they dismiss me as a weirdo? I don’t want to put them off either.

But I spent my childhood keeping the secrets I was told to keep. I don’t want secrets of my own. And I’ve spent my life longing to be understood. I can’t be understood if I don’t explain. I know that if my novel is published … when my novel is published … the publishing of my novel would/will make this happen anyway, but do I want it now? Isn’t it happening anyway, willy nilly? Is my only question whether to speed up the process?

Others have done it. Why not me?

Help!

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Blogging Books Rhymes

What I didn’t do on holiday

Touch a computer,Tiger
Become a tutor,
Lose weight,
Smash a plate,
Go to a dance,
Take a chance,
Climb the Eiger,
See a tiger,
Live in a hovel,
Write a novel,
Or even a short story, a flash or a twenty-five worder,
Or a rhyme that sticks to rhythm or order.

But I did have a great time. And I thought a bit about the novel I want to write and where I want this blog to go. More next time ….

Now I’m off to find out how everyone has managed without me.