Social anxiety

You don’t know me!

It’s probably unfair of me to call out this particular person. There are probably millions of people in the world who would do the same kind of thing. But yesterday it happened to be this one and she upset me. Not massively – just a bit.

She followed me on Twitter and I followed her back, as you do. Then she sent me a message and I replied and she wrote back. Here’s the conversation:


It was an interesting question. I considered my answer carefully. According to her Twitter profile, she lives in Hawaii and is an author, mentor, speaker, entrepreneur and visual thinker. I chose to ignore all that and think of her as a person. She chose to ignore my choice and answer as my mentor. I didn’t ask for her advice; she just gave it.

But, Susan McIntire, you don’t know me, so how do you know whether your advice has any relevance for me? How do you know whether calling a friend to discuss meeting is ridiculously easy for me? Or even whether I have a friend to call? How do you know whether your advice will be useful for me or the opposite – that it’ll make me feel like a failure because what for you is ridiculously easy doesn’t feel like that for me?

So thank you, Susan McIntire. I know you mean well (and probably want to find new clients) but I’d rather you didn’t do that to me.

By Miriam Drori

Author, editor, attempter of this thing called life. Social anxiety warrior. Cultivating a Fuji, edition 3, a poignant, humorous and uplifting tale, published with Ocelot Press, January 2023.

4 replies on “You don’t know me!”

Ugh. It’s one thing to give out advice (although this is a particularly crass way of doing it), but at least try and figure out enough about the person you’re talking to to make it relevant.

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