I have several blog posts planned, inspired by reading other blogs. I hope I get round to writing them. This one wouldn’t wait.
Have you heard the theory that there are countless parallel universes, that at particular moments in your life when one decision was made, another universe began with another you who lived the choice you didn’t make.
In my memory, I made the decision aged six, but really I think I always did this. At the age of six I was more able to rationalise it.
As I saw it, they picked on me. They all chose to tease me. In reality, it probably started as normal childhood behaviour. This is the way young children treat each other. But I didn’t know about that. My response was not to react – never to show that their taunts upset me, because if I did it would be worse.
In the parallel universe, I cried and they stopped teasing. They included me instead of spurning me.
In the parallel universe, this blog doesn’t exist, I don’t write and I’ve never heard of social anxiety.
But I’m married to someone else, have different children and probably still live in Britain.
My life is different in the parallel universe. I can’t say whether it’s better or worse. Where I am now, in this universe, it’s pretty good.
What moment in your childhood would change where you are now? Of course, perhaps it the small forgotten decision that made all the difference. You’re alive because you took an extra minute to tie your shoe and so you weren’t on your bike in the intersection when the truck ran the stop sign. But those moments you can never know.