December 2014


The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 4,300 times in 2014. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 4 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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A big THANK YOU to everyone who commented in 2014, especially the winner: Angela Brown. I… don’t know what she’s won apart from my gratitude and hope that she and all the other commenters will continue to comment in 2015. Do let me know if there’s anything you want to read about on this blog. And most of all, have a great 2015!

Happy New Year

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Click on the image to join in the challenge

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I haven’t done this challenge for ages, due to a lack of time, but couldn’t resist this one: the good parts of 2014. Actually, on rereading the instructions, I see this wasn’t exactly what Julia meant. Sorry. I couldn’t leave anything out.

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2014 in 100 Words

On 1st January, I had my hair cut short, hoping this would herald an even better year. It did. Three wonderful holidays, short stories published online and podcasted, two speeches accomplished at Toastmasters, lots of folk dancing, a successful book reading, finding myself in the safest part of the country when things went pear-shaped, the forest fire stopping just short of our house, lots of sunshine and much-needed rain, family healthy and doing well. But the best thing of all: my romance, Neither Here Nor There, published by Crooked Cat Publishing on 17th June. All in all, a fantastic year.

PS My book, like many other Crooked Cat books, is currently on sale on Amazon for a short time only. Here.

Welcome back to my blog, all you wonderful readers! I hope you’ve been having fun without me. I have been away on a very special trip – my third to India.

Our three-week trip was packed full of experiences and included no time for reflection. Now that I’m back – despite my time here being limited, too – I want to go over my notes and photos carefully, and try to make sense of all that I saw, heard, smelled, tasted and felt.

The one point I will mention now is about photos. As always, we visitors took photos. We photographed places and people (with their agreement). As before, children asked to have their photos taken, because they wanted to see their faces on our screens. That cheeky-looking boy in the middle requested several photos.

VillageChildrenBut this time there was a new phenomenon. People approached us to ask if they could take pictures of them together with us. More than ever, we became attractions. Probably we seemed more strange to them than they did to us.

This change came about, of course, because there are now so many mobile phones. In the old days, even those who had cameras wouldn’t have carried them around with them. Nowadays, anyone can whip out a mobile phone and snap away. Even in remote villages that have never had telephone lines, mobile phones are coming into use.

MeAndTheTribe

Dancing together.

The world is changing. Some of the changes are good.

Chanuka2012MiriamIt is said that all Jewish festivals can be described in the same way:

  • They tried to get rid of us.
  • We survived.
  • Let’s eat.

Chanuka is one of those. It’s not the most important festival, but it’s fairly well known because it comes at about the same time as Christmas.

SvivonimI looked for a short explanation of Chanuka, and found one on Lisa’s beautiful blog (Blogger wouldn’t link to the post itself):

Chanukah commemorates two miracles which occurred on behalf of the people of Israel. The first miracle was the military victory of a handful of Jewish warriors against the mighty armed forces of the Syrian-Greek army. The second miracle was that while going through the ruins of the destroyed holy temple only sufficient oil to light the menorah for one day was found, yet the oil miraculously burned for eight continuous days. That is why Chanukah lasts eight nights.

SvivonimThere are three main traditions for Chanuka:

  • To light candles – one, two… up to eight on each night of the festival and sing Maoz Tzur.
  • To play with a sevivon/dreidel/spinning top.
  • To eat foodstuffs fried in oil.

The sevivon has four letters on it. One of the letters is different in Israel from sevivonim found in the rest of the world. There, the letters stand for (A) Great Miracle Happened There. Here, they stand for (A) Great Miracle Happened Here.

SvivonimThe candelabra (I see the correct word is: candelabrum) used to light the candles is called a chanukiya. In other countries it is often called a menorah. This is incorrect. The menorah has six branches and was used in the Temple. The chanukiya has eight branches (or nine). The extra one is for the shamash, the candle used to light all the others.

SvivonimFood. We Ashkenazi Jews, who migrated via Europe, eat levivot (potato pancakes) and sufganiyot (doughnuts). Sephardi Jews, who migrated via Arab lands, and some via Spain and Portugal, eat other fried foods. Bimuelo, ma’akouda and mofleta are some of the names I found.

SvivonimIn London, where I grew up, I attended a Jewish primary school and a “secular” secondary school. In those days, secular secondary schools celebrated Christmas and it was impossible to opt out altogether.

I loved the tunes of the Christmas carols, but didn’t feel comfortable with all the words. When I had to sing one, solo, that fact caused me to sing it quietly, and the teacher probably thought I was nervous or didn’t have a good singing voice. I was never chosen to be in the choir.

In an art lesson in the first year, we were told to draw something for Christmas. There was an option for drawing Chanuka objects, but it wasn’t encouraged and I, of course, was always trying not to stand out. However, I had no idea what one drew for Christmas. So I looked over someone’s shoulder and tried to copy her work.

We gave each other presents and cards. That was all right, although I was always aware that it wasn’t really my festival.

My children don’t know about any of these feelings, and I’m glad of that. They missed out on the Christmas carols, but they got Chanuka songs instead.

SvivonimHappy holidays!

SvivonimTo see all the other Crooked Cat stories, poems, giveaways and more during the six-week event, join our Facebook group.

Neither Here Nor There, my romance with a difference, is available from Amazon, Crooked Cat Books, Smashwords and The Book Depository.

Chanuka with the Crooked CatsThe authors of Crooked Cat, publisher of my romance with a difference: Neither Here Nor There, are holding a six-week extravaganza of stories, poems, free giveaways and more, called: CHANUKA WITH THE CROOKED CATS, or something like that!

In honour of this unique event, I am publishing, here on my blog, my Christmas story with a difference. The story clearly takes place in a year that isn’t this year, because this year Chanuka ends on Christmas eve, whereas in the story there is a gap between the end of Chanuka and the beginning of Christmas.

If you want to discuss anything in the story, you’re welcome to do so in the comments below. Please comment promptly because I’m going away in a few days and might not be available to respond.

By the way, while there are about fifty ways of writing Chanuka in Latin letters, there is only one in Hebrew: חנוכה.

Who’s Santa?

Everything I hear and everything I see seems to have something to do with Christmas. On the TV and the radio, and in magazines. Everywhere. They talk about it and sing about it and have pictures about it. I think it’s boring. When I turned on my favourite TV programme – Doctor Who – and found that was all about Christmas, I was so fed up that I actually switched off and even read my library book instead.

At school, we only talk about Christmas a bit of the time. Keith said we must never write Xmas, even though it’s easier to spell. That’s because the X stands for the cross and we don’t believe in that. Keith was also the one who told me I must never look for a rainbow in the sky when it’s raining and sun shining at the same time, because I don’t know the brocha for it. I think that’s a shame because rainbows are pretty and it’s nice to look at them. I’ll have to find out what the brocha is and memorise it. It’s probably something like, “Blessed art thou, O Lord our God, for giving us the rainbow.” I wonder how you say rainbow in Hebrew.

On Tuesday, when Mummy took me home from my piano lesson, it was dark. On the way back from the bus stop, we passed three houses with lots of little flickering lights. I knew what they were. Christmas again.

“Why do people have Christmas trees?” I asked Mummy.

“Oh, it’s part of celebrating Christmas,” she said. “And people put them where others can see them as they go past, just like we put our Chanukah menorah on the window sill for people to see.”

“Why is everyone talking about Christmas?”

“Well, Christmas is a big thing for Christians. It’s their most fun time of the year.”

“What’s our most fun time of the year?”

Mummy had to think about that one. “Maybe Purim.”

“So why doesn’t everyone talk about Purim like they talk about Christmas?”

“Because there are a lot more Christians than Jews. And lots of people celebrate Christmas, even if they don’t believe in it.”

I like to be happy and have fun. So I said, “Why can’t we celebrate Christmas?”

“Because we have our own religion and we’re happy with that.”

“But I want to have fun, too.”

“And you do. At Simchas Torah and Purim. Remember?”

Well, that’s true. I love all the singing and dancing in shul. And I love dressing up on Purim. I suppose what I meant was that I want to have fun now.

The next day, I met my friend, Johnny, in the street. I like Johnny because he’s only six and I’m seven, so I can tell him things. Once, I told him how many more Corn Flakes coupons he needed before he could send away for a football, because he didn’t know how to work it out. And another time, a big boy walked past us and Johnny wanted to know what it said on his shirt. “It said, ‘I came on Laura’,” I told him.

“What does that mean?” he asked.

So I told him. “It means that he made Laura hurry up.”

This time, it was the other way round. Johnny told me something I didn’t know. He said, “I want Santa to bring me a train set. What do you want him to bring you?”

“Santa?” I said. “Who’s that?”

“You know. Father Christmas.”

“Who’s Father Christmas?” It wasn’t that I hadn’t heard of Father Christmas. But I never really took much notice before.

He looked up at me and frowned. “You must know that. Everyone knows that. Father Christmas brings presents to all the children. He lives in a very cold place with lots of snow and ice, and on Christmas Eve he flies in the sky pulled by a reindeer and gives out all the presents.”

I didn’t know there were special deer that came out in the rain, but I didn’t like to say I didn’t know that, either.

Then Johnny said something else. “Father Christmas only gives presents to good children. Maybe you’re not good and you’ll go to that place where there are fires burning all the time.”

It didn’t seem bad to me to have fires burning. Especially if there was ice and snow there. Still, I punched Johnny in the tummy. Not a real punch – just a pretend one. “I’m good,” I said.

We played outside for a while, taking turns to ride my new scooter, which I got for Chanukah. It was while I was running after Johnny that I saw something small and flashy on the pavement. I stopped, picked it up and started to examine it. Johnny soon came back. “Hey! Why did you s…,” he started. Then he spotted my prize and his eyes widened. “My dad’s got one of them. It’s a cigarette lighter.” This business of Johnny telling me things was getting to be a habit I didn’t care for. “Try pressing that button quickly,” he said.

I pressed. Nothing happened. So I pressed again more quickly and a flame sprang up. “Cool.”

“Can I have it?” Johnny asked.

“No. I found it.” I put it into my pocket – after letting go of the button, of course.

 

Afterwards, on my own in my room, I decided to experiment with the lighter. The first thing I tried it on was my counterpane and… well, I decided not to try it out again, although it made a nice smell. I hope Mummy and Daddy don’t notice that pretty hole in the counterpane with the black edge. I wonder if Santa ever burns holes when he lights his fires. Anyway, while I was doing that, I thought about what Johnny had said about Santa giving out presents only to good children and all that. Maybe we were bad because we didn’t have a Christmas tree and that was why Santa didn’t bring me presents.

I was still worrying about it when I went downstairs and saw Daddy sitting on the sofa, reading the newspaper. So I asked him, “Why does Santa bring presents to Johnny and not to me?”

Daddy put the paper down beside him, laid his glasses carefully on the little table and pulled me onto his knee, like he always does when he wants to explain something to me. “Daniel,” he said. “There is no Santa. Santa is someone made up and Christian parents pretend that he brings presents for children. Really, the parents buy the presents.”

I was shocked. “You mean Johnny’s mummy and daddy lied to him?”

“No. It’s not a lie. It’s just a story they tell him, and when he gets older they’ll tell him it’s not true.”

“How do you spell Santa?” Spelling is my thing at the moment, and I bet Johnny doesn’t know how to spell it.

“S-A-N-T-A.”

 

I thought about that in bed. Daddy said it wasn’t a lie, but it did sound like one. I thought Johnny ought to know about it. Then I thought about that game – Scrabble – that my big sister, Rachel, often plays with Mummy and Daddy, and how I wanted to join in and they all told me I’m not ready for it. So, the day before, I asked Rachel how I could get ready for it and she said, “It’s all about making words from a group of letters.”

“How d’you do that?” I asked.

“Well, take the letters of my name: R-A-C-H-E-L.” She took a piece of paper and a pencil from the sideboard drawer and wrote down the letters. “You can make lots of words with those letters. Car, care, race, hear, heal, real, arch, larch and lots more.”

“Now do my name.”

“D-A-N-I-E-L. And, end, lid, line, dine. There’s even a word that uses all the letters: nailed.”

“I don’t like that one,” I said. “I wouldn’t like to be nailed to the wall; it hurts.”

She smiled. “OK, I see another one: denial.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s when you say no to everything.”

“I like that,” I said. “I’m always saying no to Mummy and Daddy.”

So when I was in bed, thinking about Santa, I wondered what the letters S-A-N-T-A could make. But I think I fell asleep without thinking of anything. When I woke up, I knew Santa was bad. I don’t know why – I just knew it. And I decided I had to tell Johnny about him.

 

That day, after school, Johnny came to my house to play with me and Mummy gave us tea. We drank hot chocolate and ate Mummy’s jam doughnuts. I love doughnuts, especially when I bite into a jammy bit and all the jam suddenly spurts out everywhere. I know Mummy thinks I get jam all over my face and hands on purpose, but I don’t. It just comes. Anyway, while we were eating and drinking, Mummy asked Johnny, “What do you want from Father Christmas?”

Johnny said, “A train set.”

I said, “There’s no such thing as Santa.”

Mummy said, “Of course there is.”

I said, “No, there isn’t. Daddy said so.”

Mummy ignored me completely. She turned to Johnny and said, “Don’t listen to him. He’s just being naughty.”

I was hurt. I wasn’t being naughty at all. I was being good and teaching Johnny something he needed to know.

After Johnny left, Mummy called me into the kitchen. I sat on the stool. She sat next to me on the folding chair and I saw the frown that always makes the wrinkles round her eyes show up more.

“Daniel, I’m sorry I had to say you were naughty, today,” she said. “It’s really very good that you teach Johnny things. But there are some things you shouldn’t teach him. If his mummy and daddy want him to believe in Santa now, you shouldn’t tell him he doesn’t exist. Johnny will find that out when he’s older. All right?”

“Yes,” I said.

 

It makes sense, I suppose. It would be confusing for Johnny if everyone told him different things. He wouldn’t know what to believe. So, for now he’ll carry on believing he gets presents from a man who lights fires to keep warm in the snow and ice, and is pulled along by deer that come out in the rain.

All this makes me wonder whether grown-ups have told me any lies. I wonder about the tooth fairy. And about Haman, the wicked man who wanted to kill all the Jews on Purim. There couldn’t really be someone who wants to kill all the Jews, could there?

WhosSantaTo see all the other Crooked Cat stories, poems, giveaways and more, join our Facebook group.

Neither Here Nor There, my romance with a difference, is available from Amazon, Crooked Cat Books, Smashwords and The Book Depository.